An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is sex?"*
The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse.
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.
Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"
The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple of secs"
Gave up my normal Sunday-morning lie-in today as there was a Triumph day at the Ace cafe and I wanted to beat the forecasted midday rain. Got there just after 9am, which meant no queues for the full English breakfast, mug of tea included. Eat to the sound of Gene Vincent on the jukebox, then went out for a stroll to look at the bikes. Then a quick blast around the North Circular before getting home early for lunch. Good morning out!
Glimpsed over the heads of a million other well-wishers crowding the banks of the river Thames on Sunday; it was almost impossible to see anything of the flotilla of boats celebrating the Queens diamond jubilee, but there was a great party atmosphere all along the embankment.
Apart, that is, for a group of aggressive, shaven-headed louts posing as policemen; what they obviously wanted was a riot, what they got was families enjoying a great day out - obviously frustrated by not having any student protesters to beat to the ground they compensated by screaming, shouting and generally behaving like a bunch of arses, making us walk this way and that way down deserted streets, side roads all barriered-off and manned by private security guards, again all shaven-headed louts.
Commonwealth flags in Parliament square
Luckily we moved away from the embankment, made our way up past Westminster to Picaddilly and a huge street party; a great time was had by all.