El Diente's random ramblings

Lovely Autumn

2011-11-28T08:44:00.000Z

If this is global warming, bring it on. I’m being flippant, of course, but after years of being bombarded with statistics but little evidence, we’ve finally had the warmest autumn ever. End of November and we still haven’t had a frost here in London; the skies have been blue and sunny and the temperature still manages to get into the mid-teens (centigrade) every day. Perfect biking weather or it would have been for me if I hadn’t already sent the Triumph off to deepest Wales for the engine modifications I mentioned in the last post. The garage has also suggested a sixth-gear modification, which evidently is quite easy on the Thunderbird, “just slip a sixth gear cog in, change the selector fork and it’s done” said Sandy, so I’m going for it. He’s also going to re-paint my mudguards; I was going to buy some shortened fibreglass ones and get them painted, but they probably wouldn’t have matched the tank......you can see where this is going, can’t you? Might as well get the front forks stripped and re-polished as they were looking a bit weathered, and I suppose I may as well get the seat recovered with some extra padding......

So I’ve found myself enjoying the warmest autumn ever without a bike. Over in Richmond Park, the deer are pretty confused by it all. Their mating season is usually September to mid-October, but the warm weather has encouraged them to keep going; the stags have pretty much shagged themselves to a standstill, they’re to be seen during the daytime lying around with their antlers resting on the ground, looking absolutely knackered. You can walk up close to them without their normal reaction of jumping up and running away; they just sort of look you in the eye, sigh and put their heads back down to sleep. Amazing! Plus we’ve also still got leaves on the trees, so we’re treated to some fine autumn colours instead of the usual bare-branched views of November. Can’t wait to see what Spring will be like, especially as the bike should be done by end of January – which is probably when Spring will start.

Plan B

2011-11-03T16:37:00.000Z

Triumph update – bike didn’t sell on eBay, so implementation of Plan B has commenced - I’ve booked her in for engine overhaul and upgrade for more power, plus more shiny bits ordered.
I also realise that for a motorbike blog, there’s an awful amount of me moaning about ironing shirts, so I just thought I’d mention – growing up as a teenager in London in the early ‘60’s I adopted the latest fashion style as worn by ‘Mods’, that of the button-down collar shirt. At that time these shirts were only obtainable from Brooks Brothers at enormous expense, or cheaper rip-offs from Ben Sherman. Yes, I was that fashionable teenager in the swinging sixties. Fast forward on 40 years, and this sad old bastard is STILL wearing button-down collar shirts from Brooks Brothers at enormous expense. And you just can’t wear a button-down shirt that’s creased; I don’t know why, that’s just the rules. Of course, having been divorced a couple of times I’m actually a dab hand at ironing, but being of a certain generation I expect to be waited on hand-and-foot by my woman (yes you can blame my Mum for that).
So I promise never to mention the subject again. And I apologise in advance for any offence to the fairer sex.

Here we go again...

2011-10-27T13:47:00.000+01:00

It’s been pretty quiet of late here in Diente Towers; I tried commuting to my new job using the Triumph, but what with the crowded roads in central London and Westminster councils’ apparent policy on motorcycling being not to provide parking bays I’ve ended-up using the tube every day, so the bike is now only used for weekend ride-outs. Then LF turned-up on the doorstep a couple of weeks ago, saying she’d like to have another try at living with a miserable old git, so I’ve been busy entertaining her at weekends, building up the brownie points in anticipation of our next bust-up. On the positive side, I have now got loads of freshly ironed shirts!

All this has forced me to re-evaluate my relationship with the Triumph; plan A has already been put into action – she’s up for sale on e-bay. If sold, I’m going to buy a newer, lighter, more powerful bike for journeys with pillion (LF insists she wants to share my hobby – huh). Plan B, if the Triumph doesn’t sell, is to modify her for more power and braking, and use her for pillion journeys. Watch this space.

A tale of two quandries

2011-09-26T20:37:00.000+01:00

The first quandry I faced yesterday - join one of the bikers' protest rides against proposed EU legislation, or go to a classic car and bike show/autojumble in deepest Essex at the picturesque village of Battlesbridge. The show won, although I did have second thoughts as I was filling up the Triumph at a petrol station on the M25 motorway when a Harley-rider came over and spoke to me about the protest ride. The thing is...I'm not convinced that riding slowly along motorways in a large group causing congestion is the way to persuade the EU not to bring in anti-biking laws. It is a perfect way to piss-off all the motorists whose goodwill I depend on when riding my bike....

Anyway, a couple of hours ride got me to Battlesbridge, and I have to say it was an excellent event. A huge field full of autojumble stalls; classic bikes, classic cars and a few hot-rods too (Essex has a large number of American car fans); hot dog stands; beer tents; fat tatooed Essex birds; a live band, my dear there was so much to see and do!

Nice cafe racer

Very impressive

One for Bobskoot

Trident looked like my Thunderbird except for the siamesed exhaust

Best of both worlds?

Love the burger-eating biker

One for Affer

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Eventually I got jaded by it all and set off back home. Unfortunately, the Sunday afternoon car drivers were clogging up all the nice twisty roads, crawling along bumper to bumper so I ended up back on the M25 motorway which was a fairly unpleasant experience; turned off down the A1 through North London to join a grid-locked North Circular road, fought my way across west London and arrived home hot and exhausted.

The second quandry I faced today. I started my new job in central London, travelled there on the tube, had a normal sort of first day, got on the tube to come home, and it was packed. Sandwiched-in between a fat smelly bloke and a couple of schoolkids shouting at the tops of their voices, as I looked around in desperation for a seat I spotted a couple of empty seats at the other end of the carriage. Not stopping to reflect on how this almost-impossible state of affairs could exist, I fought my way along the carriage and claimed one of the empty seats, As I sat down, triumphant, I realised that someone had thrown up on the floor. It smelt worse than the fat bloke I'd been trapped against, but...and here's the quandry...if I could put up with it I could sit all the way to my station, 25 mins journey away.

A pleasant Sunday ride-out

2011-09-18T16:32:00.000+01:00

Must be exciting riding on the road with that fairing

Complete with fresh oil stains

Immaculate Zed

Unusual Honda - seems to be an American model

The forecast rain didn't materialise today, so I decided to go for a little ride-out on the bike; no particular destination in mind, I set off out of town towards Surrey. I battled the traffic and the windblast on the M4 for a short while then turned off and spent a pleasant couple of hours pootling around those leafy country lanes lined with old cottages that make you feel like you've gone back in time. Stopping for petrol I recognised the little village of Effingham as being not far from Box Hill, so that became the day's destination. Box Hill is a local beauty spot and attraction for walkers. It also boasts a big car park with a cafe selling burgers and mugs of tea, so is a popular meeting place for bikers. When I pulled in there were about 60 bikes, mostly modern sportsbikes, although there were a couple of customs, and a few old Brits. I got accosted by a couple of old geezers who were there on bonnies, so we formed an ad-hoc Triumph club and spent a pleasant half-hour chatting about bikes and life in general and that girl over there with the tight jeans.. Very pleasant. When I left I rode back via the A3 through Kingston; getting home I realised the little jaunt had lasted 4 hours and 120 miles. An excellent Sunday, although now I've got to iron a shirt for work tomorrow... I miss LF at times like this.

Another day off work...don't tell

2011-09-13T19:57:00.001+01:00

Somewhere in a corporate office, an accountant decides that the 750 million US dollars budgeted for a new oil production platform in the North Sea won't give a good-enough return to the company shareholders for the next couple of years, so he cancels the job. Result, fifty guys in the design office where I'm working got instant dismissal last Friday. I got two weeks notice 'cos I have to write a close-out report.

I woke up Monday morning and thought "fuck it, the sun's shining, I'm not going in to work today - what're they going to do, sack me?". So I had a stroll around my neighbourhood, took a couple of photos, visited a couple of cafes and just chilled out. I wandered 'round the back entrance of the church, hadn't noticed these old weatherbeaten carvings before.

Back Entrance Local Church

Walked over to the park and noticed the leaves were changing colour, autumn must be on it's way.

The deer were getting frisky, too.

Took a photo of this weird-looking fungus in front of an ancient shattered oak tree (oh yeah, blogger now won't let me import photos rotated so you'll have to crick your neck to see this one properly. It's also banished my list of followers, and lost my profile. Could be worse...)

Down by the river in the afternoon, a small boat cruising up towards Richmond town;

I walked back up over the hill towards home and took this photo of the London skyline; thats St Pauls Cathedral to the left; London Eye in the centre and that 'wonderful' new office building in Canary wharf "the Gherkin" to the right of centre - St Pauls is 10 miles away as the crow flies.

Went back to the half-empty office today; glad I took that day off!

A weekend riding a Triumph...in France

2011-09-06T19:14:00.000+01:00

A bit disappointed with last weekends aborted trip, I decided that what I really wanted to do was ride my Triumph down long straight traffic-free roads, drifting around long sweeping bends in the sunshine. A quick look at the weather forecast made me realise that wasn't going to happen anytime soon in England; a quick phone call to the helpful folks at Classic Bike Provence and I'd booked two bikes for the weekend, plus a hotel. I then booked a couple of flights to Marseille, told El D Jr. that he was going on a bike trip, polished my helmet and packed a bag.

We had an atrocious flight down with Air France (never again) and finally arrived in St Remy de Provence Friday tea-time (unfortunately our bags wouldn't arrive until Saturday). However, the sun was shining, the temperature was hovering around 34 degC and the welcoming Sarah had our bikes waiting ready to go.

Bike and Sidecar outside Classic Bike - for sale but I'm not sure what it is...Royal Enfield?

Red Ural combination inside Classic Bike

Luckily, we'd carried our helmets on the plane, so Sarah lent us a couple of lightweight jackets and we were off, cruising down the aformentioned long straight roads. We turned off the D99 and took the uphill winding road to Le Baux de Provence, an unbelievably romantic village perched on a mountaintop - the roads were definitely testing, particularly a tight left-handed hairpin that went on and on seemingly forever.

Le Baux de Provence

After an hour or so we rode back to St Remy, found our hotel, booked in and showered before going out to find somewhere to eat. St Remy was a picturesque little town, all honey-coloured stone buildings with painted shutters, blue or green or red, all faded by the sun, with romantic little cobbled streets and charming bistros. Unfortunately I'd come with 'the Kid' so we just wanted a meal and a few drinks and perhaps a little light conversation with beautiful, sophisticated French women. Well, two out of three ain't bad as Meatloaf used to say, so we wandered back to the hotel replete.

"The Kid"

Saturday morning saw us back at the bike shop - I'd originally chosen their BMW R850 as being more suitable for my lanky frame, but decided to swop it for their T100 Bonneville, nice and light for all that bend-swinging we were going to do. The ever-helpful Sarah gave us a map and outlined some routes, lent us some wet-weather gear "just in case" ( a definite case of local knowledge triumphing over tourist optimism) and we set off for....anywhere. We rode fairly aimlessly around Provence, taking any little side road that took our fancy, then when we got tired of really tight bends it was back onto the 'A' roads for some faster sweeping bends. Heaven.

The Old Man

What we did discover was that one picturesque medieval town looks much like another; Arles, Nimes, Avignon, all had that run-down, scruffy look, ancient ruins, rats running over the feet of diners at the outside cafes. Still, we fulfilled our aim of riding, pausing for coffee, riding some more,, etc, with the highlight being a cafe/betting shop in Carpentras where the Kid first encountered a typical French crapper "that's disgusting, it's just a hole in the floor..and there's no paper..and nowhere to hang on to!" I explained that's why the French invented perfume, to cover up the smell of shit on their hands and clothes and he seemed quite happy with that.

Bull Ring at Arles

Saturday night we had another great meal and some drinks in a little bar in St Remy where the Kid took a (drunken) shine to the dark-skinned waitress, I was just happy to get back to the hotel and bed as I was knackered from the amount of riding we'd done.

Cottage at the hotel

Sunday, however, was a bit of a disaster. It started with a thunderous downpour complete with lightning that woke us up, then it rained...ALL DAY. Man, I could have stayed in England for this! To make matters worse, our hotel, booked for us by Classic Bikes, was a wonderful, romantic hideway, small cottages set in grounds overshadowed by huge fig trees and other perfumed plants - with no T.V to "spoil the ambience" which would have been fine if we'd been on a dirty weekend but for The Old Man and the Kid......we ended-up compensating by over-eating and drinking with a couple of naps thrown in. It finally stopped raining around tea-time so we got the bikes out and bombed around until dark then ate even more, more drinks in the bar of the tatooed waitress...you get the picture.

Hotel Cat

Monday of course was beautiful, hot and sunny and perfect for riding, the clear blue sky etc etc as we remarked as we dropped the bikes off and headed back to Marseille and another awful flight to London. All in all though, it WAS great riding, a bit of fun if pretty expensive.

More photos from Sammy's

2011-08-31T20:25:00.000+01:00

Ignore the dope in the mirror

It started out well......

2011-08-28T15:02:00.000+01:00

With it being the summer holiday weekend I decided to take a 3-day ride taking in some bike and car-related events. Itinarary prepared and bike packed (2 pairs of underpants and a toothbrush as per Affers instructions) I set off early Saturday morning for the New Forest* and Sammy Miller's Motorcycle museum.

Out of London, riding south on the A3 it was chillier than I anticipated, and pretty heavy traffic. As I got to Guildford it started raining so I pulled into a petrol station, topped-up the tank and changed gloves from the thin summer ones I started off with to the winter ones I put in the pannier just in case. Just past Guildford I turned off onto the A31, much less traffic now and nicer scenery, I enjoyed riding up and over the Hogs Back with tremendous views in all directions. In no time I reached Winchester, where I stopped to take a couple of photos.

Riding on, I stopped somwhere around Romsey for a cup of coffee and a cake in a "Wild Bean Cafe"; sat on the kerb outside the petrol station watching the traffic whizz by I thought "this is the life". Enjoying now the quiet country roads and country smells I rode down through the forest to New Milton and the museum; 100 miles thats the longest trip for me and the Triumph so far.

Outside and inside the museum

Sammy Millers museum was excellent, great bikes well prepared and presented; friendly, knowledgable staff AND a restaurant that served an all-day breakfast with mugs of tea and young waitresses in mini skirts - biker heaven!

                               All aluminium frame and engine - look at the quality of the welding

                                                                Love the back-end

After a good couple of hours taking it all in I was ready to set off for Bristol and on into Wales.

Unfortunately, that's when it all went wrong - when I got back to the bike it was sitting with a flat front tyre. I borrowed a pump and pumped it up - it went flat immediately. I've got AA breakdown so phoned them; after an hour a guy turned up and said " OK sir, I'll just pull the wheel off and we'll get this fixed in no time"; well that's what I thought would happen, what actually happened was he put some air in the tyre, it went down, he pursed his lips and said "I can't fix it, we'll recover the bike back to your house". I was incredulous to say the least, come-on, its just a flat tyre, but Mr. Negative was adamant " it's holiday weekend, everywhere is shut until next Tuesday, nothing I can do".
                                                        We ain't going nowhere

By now the museum was shut, the AA man cleared off saying he'd called for a recovery van that would be there in an hour, then it started raining. Then the rain developed into a tropical downpour. To say I was pissed-off would be putting it lightly. Two-and-a-half hours later the recovery van turned up, only the staff of the museum had, unknown to me, padlocked the gate at the car park entrance. Panic! I finally rode the bike gingerly down a little dirt track that went behind the buildings, past a private house and down their drive. The lady of the house was bit suprised to see me, but let me out their gate; I then rode very slowly back up the road with the front tyre now completely destroyed and got the bike onto the recovery truck. Oh yeah, by law these trucks are restricted to 56 mph, so it was 11.45 pm when the driver dropped me and the Triumph off at home.

So this morning I went round to the coffee shop for breakfast (did I mention that LF packed her bags and left a week ago?) to reflect what to do for the rest of this weekend; hearing that bloody song by Adele "I'm gonna slash my wrists" or whatever its called didn't lift my mood much, nor did a walk down by the river where all of a sudden the weather has transitioned from summer to winter in a couple of days; then it started raining.

Have a great weekend!

* The New Forest created in 1079 by William the conqueror from the existing Roman Forest of Spinaii, created in turn from an existing Bronze age forest - so not very "new" then.

That's better

2011-08-11T08:54:00.000+01:00

What a bummer! There I was, looking forward to constantly admiring my new (expensive) Hagon shock, complete with red spring and shiny body, when I realised it's hidden away in the bowels of the bike and will never be seen again. The attached poor-excuse-of a photo shows a final glimpse of it. On the positive side, the bike now goes over bumps with a gentle rising motion rather than the shuddering crash of before.

Thanks must go to young Nick of Revolution Bike Tech in Kingston, who not only fitted it in double-quick time, but bled the front brake, cleaned up the pads and brought the braking up to an almost adequate standard. We'll be back there for more improvements quite soon.

Shifty

2011-08-04T09:03:00.000+01:00

For me, one of the best bits of riding a bike is that feeling that you're part of a small select group of 'different' people; for example, I recently started a new job, most of my new work collegues are fairly unfriendly except for the small group of guys who ride bikes, we've all become 'instant friends'. Of these, I like Dennis the most. Partly because he calls me 'young man', which gives you an idea of his age, but mostly because he's always got time to talk about motorbikes. He doesn't ride any more, but always has a wistful look in his eye when he talks about his old bikes, both racing and road. He recently brought in some photos of one of his more unusual bikes - 'Shifty'. He bought it after being impressed by an article in Motorcycle Sport April 1980, the idea of a Laverda frame and parts mated to a Fiat 127 engine and gearbox proving irresistable. One of only 3 imported from Italy, he reports it went well in a straight line and was OK around town but a bit of a pig on faster twisty-bits, but due to its rarity always attracted a crowd of interested onlookers.

I tried to upload the photos he gave me but without any luck - here are some of the same bike I downloaded from the web. I can't imagine riding the thing, but am glad I know someone who did.

And they say size doesn't matter.....

2011-08-02T08:01:00.001+01:00

If you look very closely you can see a pannier – a very small pannier

I’m suffering from a case of penis-envy. In preparation for my upcoming European tour I decided to buy some panniers for the bike. The e-bay vendors’ photos were skilfully taken with no other objects in view; this meant that I had no way of judging their size. Of course dimensions were provided, but I convinced myself they were wrong as the bags would be unfeasibly small. As you can see, they are unfeasibly small. In fact, they’re about the size of a 5 year-olds’ lunch box. Oh well, guess I’ll be packing light, then.

By the way....

2011-07-18T07:40:00.000+01:00

....if anyone asks you to go to see the latest Brad Pitt/Sean Penn movie "The Tree of Life", give them a slap round the face to bring them to their senses. Boring claptrap would be a polite description. Sean Penn's 'tortured soul' impression made Jack Blacks' flatulent Mexican priest in 'Nacho Libre' worthy of an Oscar. Better to spend two and a half hours standing in a corner banging your head against the wall than going to see this film.

This was a public service announcement.

God bless engineers everywhere.....

2011-07-13T15:26:00.000+01:00

Guess what this is...

No, it is not an eye patch,
No, it is not a head band,
No, it is not a knee brace,
No, it is not a medical support,
It is from France ...........and it is

A SPRING LOADED BATHING SUIT!!

REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not recommended for water skiing, surfing or diving!

GOD BLESS ENGINEERS EVERYWHERE!!!

E-bay, my friend

2011-06-28T08:23:00.000+01:00

Ever since I got my driving licence, I've been mad about cars and bikes. My first love will always be hotrods/customs, followed by bikes. The idea of taking a car that you like the shape of, then fitting a modern powerful engine, uprating the brakes and suspension, re-doing the bodywork and paint until you end up with (hopefully) your perfect car has always seemed the ultimate combination of back-yard engineering (I can make a better car in my shed than a car manufacturer) and personal aesthetics (my colour scheme is better than the factory's). Of course there's always more failures than successes, witness small front-wheel drive hatchbacks fitted with giant wheels and lurid paintjobs, but that's down to experience and capability.

Anyway, one of the things that attracted me back to biking was the perception that it was much cheaper to modify or create a motorbike that more closely matched my ideals than it was with a car - a perception that has gradually turned into a misconception. Each bike I've owned has had (expensive) bits bolted to it and minor modifications made to try and make it a better fit to my needs. The latest bike is a perfect example - an e-bay "bargain", I knew it needed a couple of faults fixing. The brakes were the first problem to deal with; I bit the bullet and ordered an expensive brake upgrade kit, unfortunately they were out of stock, so I found an e-bay bike breaker who had a low-mileage Thunderbird. I bought master cylinders and calipers front and back from them; fitted them and now the brakes work a bit better. I then fitted new fork seals, chain and sprockets, got new tyres, fitted another e-bay purchase of (newer) stainless exhaust down pipes, a chrome water pipe and a nice polished ally backrest.

So after a considerable outlay I now have...a standard bike. In fact, for the total amount I've spent, I could have bought an 'overpriced' perfect condition low-mileage model. Mind you, that probably says more about my naivety in buying off e-bay than anything else. Anyway, as I sent off payment for yet another shiny piece of metal today I realised...

Answers on a postcard, please.

Nice backrest

New exhausts going blue already!

Lovely polished stainless dash plate - now I can see the warning lights.

Serengeti or Richmond park?

Health and Safety, wot 'ealth an' safety?

Memories...

2011-06-23T08:01:00.000+01:00

Me and LF went to Hammersmith Apollo last night to a brilliant concert by Juan Luis Guerra, the place was heaving, it seemed as if every ex-pat South American in London was there. As soon as he played his first song, I got a terrific sense of deja vu (again) - the first song I learned the words to in Spanish was Burbujas De Amor when I was working in the Venezuelan oilfields and wanted to impress the lovely brown-eyed waitress at the little shack we used for lunch down in Campo Boscan. Turns out I was a rich Gringo and only had to open my wallet for her to be impressed, but I was young(ish) and hadn't fathomed out why beautiful young women would want to be with ugly old men.

Anyway, back to the present and I have to say not only was it a great concert but there were more beautiful Latin women in Hammersmith last night - including of course LF in case she should read this - than I have seen for a long time (Mrs ex-El D No. 2 may even have been there, as she was also a fiery Latina with flashing brown eyes, if they had a seating area for psychotic manic-depressives).

Everyone was up dancing, and stayed that way all night. The years fell away, and I gyrated with LF, singing away at the top of my voice. This morning I woke up with a buzzing in my ears, both knees hurting like hell and a sore throat.....still got those memories though.

Bulgaria

2011-06-13T18:40:00.000+01:00

LF persuaded me to accompany her to Bulgaria to visit Perperikon, the "Macchu Pichu" Europe, allegedly. We saw trams and big buildings in Sofia; a big pile of rocks...sorry, an important Megalithic monument in Perperikon; some decidedly run-down houses in rural areas; and generally had an interesting 8 days driving around. Here's some snaps.

Oh, best sight in Sofia - leather-clad biker on Repsol-liveried Fireblade, no crash helmet, talking on mobile phone while one-handed weaving between traffic AND negotiating tramlines...respect!

Ch..ch..ch..changes

2011-05-19T16:40:00.000+01:00

There's been a few changes in the El D household recently; one was leaving my hovel and moving in with LF ( of the Jaguar adventure). I've gained considerably, as not only is the apartment nice and bright, there's also a garage at the rear in which to store and work on motorcycles :) - I also have a slightly smarter appearance as freshly ironed shirts appear in my wardrobe, seemingly by magic. I'm not exactly sure what I have to do in return, apart from being my usual happy-go-lucky self.***

On the motorcycle front, Helga has gone. I must admit I was a little uncomfortable, both with referring to an inanimate object by female name, and also 'cos the handlebar position hurt my wrists. I thought about modifications, but decided to move her on to a new home. I've now got a ratty Triumph to commute on, although as usual with all my impulse e-bay purchases this one is slightly lacking, mainly in the braking department, as the suprised schoolboy who stepped onto the pedestrian crossing in Kingston found out; I did wave as I swerved round him with the brake lever fully on and no apparent diminishiment (not sure if thats a word) in speed to try and convey an apology, but his two-fingered salute makes me think he mis-understood.

Anyway, as usual I'd already started buying some completely necessary chrome parts to bling it up, so the budget is a bit lacking; investigation of the internet forums (yeah, should have done that before I bought it) seems to indicate that the standard brakes are crap and I need to shell-out £500 for a Norman Hyde brake conversion. So at the moment I'm still commuting on it, but VERY slowly and with almost painful anticipation of the traffic conditions. It's still fun though.

*Charming
*Generous
*Ironic

New screen, that's a good excuse to take a day off work!

2011-04-08T19:29:00.000+01:00

I thought of a couple of reasons not to go to work today - the weather forecast yesterday predicted another day of sunny skies and a temperature of 20 degC, plus last night I watched the DVD "On any Sunday" - cheesy yes, but it made me want to get out for a ride. I got up my usual early time but instead of going to work, fitted the little windscreen I recently accuired to Helga and we were off, riding aimlessly out of London into the Surrey countryside. The more miles I put on, the more I get used to the handling, although I did manage to get the back end sideways once, and not on purpose I should add.

Amazingly effective little screen

Fits nicely to the curve of the headlamp cover with no additional fittings

Stopped for a cuppa at Box Hill; discovered that me and Helga fall into that uninteresting category - just an old slow bike (and an old geezer) to your modern road warrior; not old enough for the classic bike crowd. But I'm having fun, so who cares if no-one wants to chat. I've also managed to win a pair of elderly panniers on e-bay, so maybe some longer journeys could be on the cards soon. I am a bit concerned about the blue haze coming from the exhaust, but guess I just need to get used to owning an old bike. Cheers for now!

A walk in the park

2011-04-06T19:39:00.000+01:00

The south of England has been experiencing unfeasibly warm spring temperatures for the last few days; today it was 22 degC (72 F) in London by lunchtime. I looked up at the clear blue sky from my basement office window and thought what the hell am I doing here? So I bunked-off work early, caught the tube back to Richmond and went over the park for the afternoon. Richmond park, for those who don't know it, is quite a big (3.69 sq miles) walled deer park. There's usually lots to see, so I took my camera and managed to take these photos. Not the greatest quality, but what a relaxing way to spend an afternoon!

Gatehouse

There's two types of deer - big and little, from which statement you can guess I'm not much of a naturalist.

Big Deer

Little Deer

There's also a flock of parrots, which really is quite unexpected. At one time the story being told was that Jimi Hendrix had two parrots when he lived nearby, and they were released into the park when he died and bred there - unfortunately it turned out to be bull###t. Seems they just escaped from an aviary; they nest in the ancient oak trees which the park is famous for and make loads of noise flying around and squawking.

Nesting Parrots

There's also some cute-looking ornamental ducks brought over from China by the Victorians, plus of course those pesky grey squirrels from America. In fact, when you think about it, a typical multi-cultural mix, just like the rest of London.

We do also have some native species....I'm going out on a bit of a limb here 'cos I don't really know if they are...but I took there photos anyway.

So if you got this far, I'll end with a disclaimer that I know nothing about flora or fauna, but I had a great afternoon in the Spring sunshine - and I promise the next post will be motorbike related.

A trip to the Surrey countryside with Helga.

2011-04-03T18:10:00.000+01:00

I finally collected the BMW yesterday; my first reaction was to be slightly disappointed that it wasn't quite as good as the blurred e-bay photos had led me to believe, but there again, what did I expect for the money? Anyway, as soon as I set off on the road home I cheered up, everything seemed to work well, although the front end felt both wobbly and wooden (technical terms these) at the same time - I stopped a couple of time to make sure I didn't have a puncture! Still, we managed to 60 mile trip home with no problem, and after a quick wash Helga looked quite respectable.

Fired-up with enthusiasm, I was up and out early today for a ride; it started off as just an aimlessl ride out to the Surrey countryside, then I saw a sign for Brooklands, the world's first purpose-built motor racing circuit.

A look at some of the early cars and bikes then a wander up to the banking left me amazed that those rickety-looking machines were piloted at speed round here.

The Brooklands museum is pretty interesting; as the place was originally used to develop cars, bikes and airplanes the whole place is like a big boys playground, lots of machinery and bits of planes scattered around to investigate, plus all the old sheds and buildings full of racing memento's from days of yore - well worth a visit if you're in the area.

While wandering around the motorbike shed I spotted a white-overalled chap moving a combination out into the sun, so walked over to have a look. It turned out to be a 1933 Brough Superior, which Mr Brough (no, really!) explained to me was used by the West Riding Police.

He then persuaded me to sit on it and took my photo. I did offer to swap it for Helga and some cash, which for some reason send him into fits of laughter - guess it's worth quite a bit of money, then?

There also seemed to be quite a bit of car-related activity; a porsche club meeting in front of the clubhouse, a Roll Royce meeting on the lawn, and a dead-hard looking Lagonda, which was driven by a real cad, all pencil moustache, flying jacket and co-respondent shoes, parked out front.

After a quick cuppa I was off again, more aimless riding down towards Guildford and Farnham where there were some smashing little lanes to ride down (and back again, and down again); starting to get used to the feel of the front end now, although I suspect it needs some serious work. With the sun stlll shining but wrists and bum aching from the unaccustomed riding position I eventually headed back up the A3 towards London; Helga cruised quite comfortably at around 80mph, which was about the fastest I could hold on at without any wind protection, although I did briefly do a Mr Toad impression, crouched down on the tank she wound up to 3-figure speed pretty quick so maybe a screen should be high on the list of 'improvements'.

Got home, and in the road outside was parked this pretty Alfa - I was amazed how small it was!

So, a good weekend at last; funny how a motorbike ride can banish all the depressing thoughts and boredom of modern living. Cheers!

Late Postscript - I've been reading-up online on the K series and their problems; my wobbly front end seems like knackered bearings/forks, and the problem I was getting changing up into 41/2 instead of 5th gear is a clutch spline problem. Evidently. Sounds like I'm going to need either a good mechanic...or get her up on e-bay quickly.

Back on two wheels....almost

2011-03-21T13:07:00.000Z

The sun has been shining in London for the past few days, and it's lead me to reflect on ladies fashions - who ever thought that wearing a pair of levis two sizes too small so that your bum crack was on show and bits of wobbly white flesh got pushed over the waistband could look attractive? And when a young lady so dressed bends over....my God it could make even strong men faint!

On a different subject, here's a couple of blurry photos of my latest bike, Helga (so named by her previous owner), a 1984 BMW K100 in nice condition. I've just got the tax and insurance to sort out, then I should be back on the road and able to contribute a bit more frequently to this blog.

Employed! Commuter! Wanker!...who said that?

2011-02-14T18:57:00.000Z

Finally re-joined the ranks of the employed and started a new job today...I'm not sure who was getting more nervous about the lack of income, me, my bank manager or my ex-wife's lawyer. Anyway, I was full of anticipation at rejoining the rat race; had a shave, wore a suit and collar and tie for the first time in four months; walked to the local Underground station and caught the train with all the other zombies.

By lunch time I was bored; on the homeward journey even more so, squashed in with all the other smelly, grumpy commuters. Plans are already being hatched to use the first week's pay to buy an old motorbike to commute to work on; I anticipate hours of nail-biting fun on e-bay. The budget will be fairly small so I'm not sure what I'll get - it did cross my mind that as I've got a couple of sets of riding gear, if I sold my Dainese jacket and Schuberth helmet that would probably double the budget....we'll see. I'll keep you posted.

London Motorcycle show

2011-02-05T21:10:00.000Z

I visited the London motorcycle show today at the ExCel centre out in docklands, east London, where, by the way, the Olympics will be held next year - all I can say is they'd better get a move on, the place still looks like a bomb site.

Anyway, I went to pick out my next bike, which being broke actually made it easier as I don't have to worry which one I can afford as I can't afford any of them - my choice being made solely on which one felt the best to sit on. Here's some photos.

This BMW R1200R caught my eye

As did the new Kawasaki W800 - Bonneville copy

This didn't look so cool

The new Ducatti Diavel - looks a bit unfinished to me, especially for 15k!

Not sure about this new Honda, how do they stop the oil leaking out?

I like the classics

The owner of this Triumph Rocket III trike Hearse was actually taking bookings at the show!

Don't know how these ladies got in the shot

m...my h..hand was sss..shaking

Nice old MV

This sounds like a good idea....not

2011-01-25T12:40:00.000Z

This article from today's BBC News.......I'm hoping I stop riding before this lot becomes mandatory

"Motorbikes 'to get safe driving aids'
Motorbikes could soon be sporting collision detection and other safety features more usually found on cars
Research is testing ways to put these systems on motor bikes and how best to alert riders to dangers on the road.

The systems tested include warnings about speed limits, the tightness of road bends and information about other vehicles to aid lane-changing.

The first bike-based safety systems could be appearing on motor bikes within two years, say researchers.

Proof of concept tests on the Saferider systems, as they are known, have been carried out in simulators and on road bikes by the Motor Industry Research Association (Mira), which acts as a testing and innovation centre for car makers.

"Saferider takes the driver safety systems that are becoming standard on cars and tries to adapt them to the unique needs of motorcyclists," said Jonathan Moore, an advanced engineering consultant at Mira, involved in the Saferider project.

Statistics gathered by Mira suggest that about 22% of all road accident fatalities involve bike riders and it is the only mode of transport which is seeing a rise in the number of deaths.

Mr Moore said making safety systems on motor bikes useful was "challenging" because of all the distractions to which riders are subjected.

"One of the most difficult things is getting the rider's attention," he said. "There's a high level of ambient noise and vibration to deal with."

The Saferider system allows motorcyclists to send SOS alerts and warns of potential hazards. Video courtesy of Saferider developer, Mira.

Bubble wrap

Mira has been investigating how to use haptic, tactile feedback systems to safely get the attention of riders and warn them about other vehicles, prepare them for the road ahead or give help at junctions.

Mira engineers outfitted a Yamaha Tenere and a Triumph Sprint with the safety systems so they could be tried out on a test track.

The systems include laser scanners, haptic handles and gloves, a vibrating seat, lights, smart helmet cameras and radar as well as a pannier full of the electronics that analyse data gathered by the sensors and pump out warnings.

One system tested works out if riders are travelling too fast to negotiate upcoming bends. Mira has developed software that acts as a "co-pilot" which, with the help of a digital map, knows what speed they should be travelling to make it round a bend.

Mr Moore said one system under test based around radar constantly monitors the blind spots around and behind riders to create a safety "bubble" around a bike. This helps because vehicles behind or to one side of a bike can be hard to spot because vibration means images in wing mirrors are difficult to make out.

"We put a motor in the cheek pad of the helmet so if you do not notice the object it will vibrate and give you a tactile warning that there's something to the right or left," said Mr Moore.

The system can also help give a rider information about traffic further behind in adjoining lanes to help with over-taking or lane-changing.

Motorbike collision detection systems developed by Mira warn a rider about an imminent impact and let them take action by slow sharply down or, in the case of a vehicle travelling in the same direction as the bike, following it while slowing.

The safety systems could be a boon to younger bike riders.

"They do not give the attention to the road they should or have the experience to deal with problems," said Mr Moore.

The prototypes demonstrated by Mira showed it was feasible to fit such safety systems on motor bikes, said Mr Moore. He speculated that manufacturers would start to put them on bikes within the next 18 months to two years."

A simpler life...

2010-12-03T09:33:00.000Z

The ex-wife chose the perfect time to ask for more money to keep her in the manner to which she has become accustomed; just as I lose (well resign) my job and become homeless. Not to worry, I’ve sold the car and the bike and some odds-and-ends on e-bay and am living in a rented hovel so she’s satisfied - for now. Then I’m rescued from a life of dull boredom by my local council – over-60’s get a free bus pass! So now I can explore wherever I want and my meagre funds will last longer – today I caught the first bus that loomed out of the blizzard * and ended-up in Kingston-on-Thames; found a greasy spoon cafe with steamed-up windows and settled down at a table by the window with a mug of tea, good honest English tea, thick enough to stand your teaspoon up in, none of this Freetrade cappuccino and an organic brie-and-sundried tomatoes Panini’s no I want white bread and processed cheese if you don’t mind.

And the four young beautiful friendly Polish waitresses stand and chat in foreign tongue while I read this week’s MotorCycle News front-to-back and then a chapter from my latest discovery from that chest I found in my 90 year-old well 89 ½ Mum’s attic, me and my dear departed brother Dave stashed all our hot-rod books and magazines up there sometime in the ‘70’s when we got sidetracked by families from building cars, and I rediscovered the box a couple of months ago so today I’m reading ’32 Ford the Deuce by Tony Thacker and marvelling at Henry Ford’s vision. After a few hours I slide on icy paths back to the bus stop and make my way slowly home, i-pod earphones concealed under woolly hat ‘cos I’m sure over-60’s probably aren’t allowed to listen to 70’s subversive songs ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ and ‘Street fightin’ man’ while on free transport, back to the hovel where I fall asleep after listening to ‘in the arms of the angel’ that still makes the hair on my arms stand on end and dreaming of the Bonneville with big engine and polished ally guards that I’ll maybe build when I ever get a job again........ah, the simple life.

*Earlist snowfall for 20 years, Britain at standstill.

On the road again.....

2010-10-08T17:48:00.000+01:00

Aparently, the whole of Britain is basking in an Indian summer this weekend, apart from the NE of Scotland which is buried under a layer of cold damp fog. I'm too busy packing my belongings into my car and getting ready to leave to mind about it. I've booked a transport company to collect the bike and take it down to London while I drive the car with all my wordly goods in it. I resigned from my job without another one to go to, or anywhere to live - El D you must be crazy I hear you say - well I love Scotland and the beautiful biking roads up here but I got bored just working and living alone. El D junior has kindly offered his spare bedroom for a short time while I decide on the next move, and I remember there are some nice winding lanes in Surrey suitable for biking so...here we go again.

A wee joke just for HWL and Nikos

2010-09-25T12:37:00.000+01:00

A SHOCKING DISCOVERY IN MANCHESTER!

Police in Manchester last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 2,000 semi-automatic rifles with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 20 tonnes of heroin, £50 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes, all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Moss Side. Local residents were stunned.
A community spokesman said: "We're deeply shocked. We never knew we had a library!"

Unrequited love finally....err....requited

2010-09-21T21:06:00.000+01:00

As an eleven-year old schoolboy I fell in love with the new E-type Jaguar. Over the years I lusted after one, but somehow it never happened. Now, 50 years later, I finally admitted that I'm never going to buy one so I decided to treat myself and hired one for a long weekend. I persuaded a lady friend to accompany me with the promise of a tour of the leafy lanes of the south of England and a couple of nights away in historic old hotels. Friday we collected the car, a 1969 series 2 convertible in red, from central London under blue skies and unseasonable warmth. Unfortunately for us the Pope had decided to visit London that day so the whole of central London was gridlocked - it took 2 hours to travel the length of Euston road and Baker street. This did however give us a taste of things to come - virtually every other car driver and most pedestrians looked, waved and shouted approval as we crept past them, top down in the sun. I felt like a millionaire pop star; men admired me, women desired me, children wanted to be me. Of course LF reminded me it wasn't my car and burst that little fantasy bubble, but the grin didn't leave my face for the whole four days.

Friday night we stayed at an old coaching inn in Farnham in Surrey, having spent a very pleasant afternoon cruising around the Surrey country lanes.Saturday morning we set off early with no particular plan in mind.

We gradually noticed an unusual number of classic cars seemed to be heading south, so we tagged along. We then realised it was the weekend of the Goodwood revival, held at the old Goodwood racing circuit. Old racing cars and a retro theme to the weeknd meant thousands of classic cars, bikes, and buses with many of the owners dressed appropriate to the age of their vehicle in that way only middle-class English can. Unfortunately I'd left my flares and cuban heels back home, so we parked in the public car park then spent the day admiring the show.

Saturday night we stayed in Salisbury in a nice 4 star hotel, had a great Thai meal in the evening then a hearty full English breakfast the next day before setting off. Driving the E-type was pretty much how I imagined it, loads of smooth power in a rattly old body - it still looked stunning though; every time I got out I had to stop and admire her. LF had made me promise to take her to some 'sacred sites' as part of the deal of accompanying and old man and his fantasy, so Sunday saw us wend our way across to Stonehenge, the visit to which was quickly despatched as the public are no longer allowed near the stones in case they get damaged - a bit different from my first trip there in the 60's with a bunch of hippies celebrating the summer solstice...lots of prancing around and smoking big spliffs as I distantly recall...

Quickly on to Avebury, which is a whole lot more impressive in scale.There was even a bunch of hippies, or New Agers or whatever they call themselves drumming and hugging the stones - groovy, man.

A nice lunch then spent the whole afternoon happily driving across to Glastonbury. I still had the stupid grin on my face, although LF was flagging a little with being windswept and deafened; she actually asked why I hadn't put the radio on all weekend which gave me the no-excuse-needed opportunity to change down and blip the throttle yet again and say " why do we need the radio when we have that lovely noise?" I'm not sure but I think I heard the word 'childish' float away in the deafening roar of the engine and wind. We had a quick whisk around the town then a huge vegan macrobiotic meal in a hippy-dippy cafe. Monday was spent driving back to London, top-down in the sun.

So that was it, a long-held childhood fantasy finally realised - which was pretty good, as my other fantasies were to go to bed with Marilyn Monroe and spent a night out drinking with James Hunt neither of which could happen anyway. So, as Meatloaf could have sung, 'one out of three ain't bad'.

Next week - walking on the moon with Buzz Aldrin and partying in a French chateau with Keith Richard.

Just a perfect day.....

2010-09-08T21:55:00.000+01:00

I had just the best day - flew to Paris to get a couple of fingers straightened (damn this Dupytrens disease) landed to warmth 23 degC clear blue sky Man this is better than Aberdeen! Took the Metro to the restaurant where an old friend Frank from Valencia is working as a chef had a fabulous meal sitting at a sidewalk table in the sun, then left and strolled down towards Bastille Metro and entered MAN HEAVEN, first there's a little shop with a custom chopper in the window next to a 70's Triumph Bonneville and a BSA Lightening all for sale, then I realised almost every shop was selling bikes, everything from Honda through Harley to Triumph. It took me nearly an hour to visit them all then just when I'd finished, here's a row of secondhand camera shops full of black anodised shiny lenses and camera bodies and all the time there's bikes cruising up and down the boulevard, pretty pillion passengers flashing brown legs in the sun.....

Finally made it to Place D'Italie, still a bit early so I sat in front of the fountain in the sun chilled out read a classic bike magazine and joined in with the people-watching, drank a coffee that didn't taste like dishwater and just wished the day could last forever. But it didn't. And I got home and realised I'd been so excited I forgot to take and photos except these two, so you'll have to imagine the rest. Sorry.

Best laid plans.....

2010-08-08T20:57:00.000+01:00

Funny how plans go wrong - I had the weekend all planned-out; Saturday I was going to ride down to Edinburgh, visit the Harley dealer then catch a couple of comedy acts at the fringe, maybe stay in a nice hotel....so I set off from Aberdeen in the rain, sat bored on the dual-carriageway down to Dundee avoiding the tourist caravans and spotting speed cameras - 10 fixed, 2 mobile vans and SIX police motorbikes in a 60 mile stretch seemed excessive. I stopped at the BMW dealer there to examine the range, but he only had 4 different bikes, so I went and got a cup of coffee, watched the rain chucking it down and decided to go home instead.

Sunday morning dawned dry, if cloudy, so, refreshed from 14 hours sleep I rode up north, across the Grampians to the north coast at Forres. On the way I spotted a sign for a vintage vehicle rally at Brodie castle, so after a quick lunch break at Findhorn village I made my way there.. Brilliant...the sun was shining, crowds of people quietly enjoying themselves and some cracking cars and bikes.

There were plenty of old British sports cars, and loads of 50's and 60's MGB's, Bristols, AC's, Jaguars etc. I also spotted an orange Sunbeam Rapier Holbay, probably the only one not rusted away; and 2 Hillman Avenger Tigers, again probably the only 2 left!

Lots of nice bikes - I've added a few photos; especially liked the vintage cycle with the engine attached on its own little wheel.

After spending a pleasant few hours I rode back home at an utterly ridiculous speed, got home knackered but very happy, and glad that plans don't always work out as I had the MOST enjoyable day today!!!

Nice screen.....

2010-08-04T18:32:00.000+01:00

This photo shows the recent mods I've made to the bike. Most obvious is the MRA screen, the little aeorofoil on the top can be adjusted to divert windblast over the riders head; unfortunately due to this riders abnormal body shape the windblast now hits smack on the bottom of my crash helmet, still, thats better than the original screen which put the blast on my chest and gave me a permanent sore throat. Then there's the handguards which do well at protecting my arthritic fingers from chilly early-morning windblast; and finally you may see the bar risers I fitted to give me a more upright riding position, thus relieving my permanent back-ache. Result!

I'm also celebrating today as I heard that I've finally obtained the University degree I've been studying for part-time for the last 7 years. I'm off tomorrow to buy a white lab-coat, some test tubes and a bunsen burner to start experiments in the garage; meantime I did consider going to the local drinking establishment and getting well oiled, but as that would probably lead to months of binge drinking and pain I decided instead to sit in and watch a re-run of American Chopper with a 12" pizza and a carton of - it says here on the box - truly irresistable triple chocolate cookies coated in indulgent Belgian chocolate with milk, dark and white chocolate chunks. Yummy.

Front-wheel drive bike spotted near pink castle

2010-07-26T20:29:00.000+01:00

Spotted some different stuff while out riding yesterday.

Not sure how this handles round bends

Freshly-painted pink castle

Not sure when the invasion started

Touring envy

2010-07-24T07:42:00.000+01:00

I had a great ride into work this morning - at 6.30 am on a Saturday there were no cars bumbling along the country lanes at 40 mph...heaven. To add to the enjoyment it was a beautiful morning, the sun was shining, mist on the fields, just one of those days when it was all perfect. It only took 20 mins to do the 25 mile ride from Banchory into the city so it was a contented El D that arrived at the office to find no-one else was working today! Excellent; I spent the early morning catching up on all the other bike-related blogs, especially enjoying the photos from foreign parts. I really am envious of all the bikers who seem to think nothing of setting off on days or weeks of touring - a two hours ride and I'm knackered. Maybe one day...in the meantime I've got a valve schedule to finish today (yawn) before I get to ride the long way home.

Keep control of those thoughts or you'll fall off......

2010-07-22T20:45:00.001+01:00

I popped round to see Derek after work today; his R1 is in bits in the garage due to a siezed exhaust valve and the track bike looks like it exploded, so there were lots of pieces of metal to pick up and examine closely while exclaiming bloody hell and suchlike.. As we were chatting, he noticed my bike still had the removable baffle in the Scorpion can, so quicker than I could say anything he had the baffle out and the bike revving its nuts off. During the ride home I realised that it was now possibly much, much faster but definitely much louder. I was trying to come up with a comparison for the noise, you know, WWII airplane or something mechanical when it dawned on me that it sounded like a big fat lady who'd had baked beans for breakfast letting off a fart just as she was getting out of a wetsuit.

I spent the whole ride home wobbling about as I kept laughing at that mental picture which of course got more and more ridiculous with each mile.

Essex girls

2010-07-12T20:35:00.000+01:00

I'd been checking the weather forecast for the weekend - there was a 30 deg heatwave! forecast for London and the south-east of England, gales and heavy rain for the north-east of Scotland; seemed like a perfect time to pay a long-overdue visit to my 89 year-old Mum.A quick phone call to her to make arrangements elicited the response that she was going to a "celebration of Essex Girls "on the Saturday. Now here I must declare that I don't understand the fuss made regarding the sexist stereotype of Essex girls as promoted by comedians and the gutter press - they are portrayed as blonde bimbos with fake tans, large breasts and an easy attitude to sex. Having spent some of my teenage years living in Essex, I certainly never met anyone like that...unfortunately!

So I hatched a plan to fly down to London Friday night, hire a car and spend time with the Essex girls.I managed to find an internet deal on accomodation; Friday night found me relaxing in a Sheraton 4 star hotel for the princely sum of £44 - result! I picked up the car, a mercedes AMG sport which cost several times more than the hotel room, but had excellent air-conditioning and a fancy flappy-paddle gearbox controlled from the steering wheel. Not that it mattered how quickly the thing changed gear, I spent most of the weekend creeping around in traffic bloody hell it was murder no matter where I went.

First thing Saturday morning I headed for Jack Lilley's Triumph dealership, they do custom Triumph bikes and I was curious to see what they had, At the entrance was a huge Rocket 3 in black with all sorts of extra bits on it, it looked EVIL but extremely HUGE. They also had a custom Thunderbird, but not unfortunately the Steve Mcqueen great escape Scrambler. Next stop was to be the Victory showroom, but some time spent in traffic jams and 30 degree heat made me decide to turn around , head for the M25 motorway and zip round to South London to see my daughter - unfortunately the Blackwall tunnel was closed for repair, so the whole south-east corner of London, Kent and Essex was at a standstill! So I aborted that idea and headed straight to Chelmsford in deepest Essex.

The Essex Girl celebration was taking place in Hylands house, a stately home set in parkland. First suprise was how brown and scorched everything looked, it looked more like Arizona than Essex, and felt just as hot.The celebration was intended to show that Essex women did not conform to their stereotype, but were capable intelligent women. My Mum was there because in 1932 she joined a band called the Dagenham Girl Pipers, an all-girl bagpipe band that travelled the country entertaining; they also travelled to the USA early in WWII, Sweden in the 50's. Of course now the band members are all in their 70's & 80's, but were a sprightly bunch.

I wandered around the grounds enjoying the heat and sunshine, visiting the various stalls set up to demonstrate the capabilities of Essex girls. Thats where I met my first female Police motorcyclist - we had a chat and I must admit to being stricken...arrest me, arrest me!...but was politely rebuffed and wandered away, disconsolate. Spent the rest of the weekend enjoying the sun and chilling out with 3 Essex girls in their 80's, Mum and two Aunties. Sweet.

A walk up the hill...what, with those legs?

2010-07-06T19:19:00.000+01:00

For some reason that now escapes me, I agreed to walk up Ben Nevis; not for charity, just for a walk. It wasn't too bad going up, took about 31/2 hours. It was a bit foggy and cold up top, then while we were tucking into our sandwiches the cloud cleared and we got some amazing views.

Coming back down knackered my old knees even more; the guys in the office tell me I look quite comical trying to lift my leg over the bike. Good day out though.

Bugger, that was embarrasing.....

2010-06-14T14:51:00.000+01:00

.......and painful too. I pulled up outside my flat, kicked the sidestand down, swung my leg over and off the bike and watched in amazement as my new bike toppled ever-so-slowly off the stand and on to my foot. I couldn't get my foot out as it was trapped between the bike and the kerb, and I couldn't lift it up as I was (a) twisted at a funny angle and (b) lacked the strength to pick it up. As I gazed around I was hoping that none of the neighbours had seen me, but also hoped someone would walk by and help me with the bike.

Luckily my new/old ladyfriend is visiting at the moment, and after an agonislingly long time (funny how time slows down when you're in an embarrasing situation) she glanced out of the window and saw me. Another few minutes passed while we exchanged gestures (!) until she came out and helped me pick it up. So now I'm in the situation where she thinks I'm incapable of riding my bike, my foot hurts so I am incapable of riding my bike plus I daren't talk to any of my neighbours in case they saw what happened and take the piss out of me. Ah, the life of an elderly biker!

A historical weekend......

2010-05-25T18:13:00.000+01:00

I've just spent a few non-biking days in the south of England. I flew down to London on Thursday to see Eric Clapton in concert with Steve Winwood. I wasn't too sure how the concert would go, not being a great fan of Steve Winwood; a first glance around the audience revealed more nose and ear-hair than flowing locks.... so thats an average age of 60 then - but as usual Ol' Slowhand managed to lift every song with a guitar solo in the middle;and the whole band excelled themselves with a version of Voodoo Child with the volume turned up to eleven - a good evening!

I was staying with number one son, but he flew off to Florida on a golfing holiday so that was me at a bit of a loose end on the hottest weekend of the year (so far). Luckily I bumped into an old lady friend, who mentioned that she'd never been to Kent (!). A quick glance at the atlas showed it was just a short train ride away, so off we went to

explore.

First stop was Rochester to explore the cathedral built in 604AD which seems pretty old, then the adjoining castle which looks a bit second-hand after King John tried to knock it down just after signing the Magna Carta.

That's the great thing about exploring England, everything is so old we talk about it as if it just happened last week, must be the influence of all the old Hollywood movies. Anyway, for some reason which now escapes me, we decided to walk to Canterbury cathedral along the Pilgrims way. As it was 45 miles away I had a suspicion we wouldn't make it, but who's going to argue with a woman? After a few miles we came upon an ancient burial tomb approximately 4000 years old called Kits Coty; it was once inside a burial mound but sometime in the past had been uncovered. 4000 years old and no-one had stolen the fence!

We carried on in the glorious blazing sun through the picturesque Kent countryside for the rest of the afternoon, but by the time we reached Maidstone, which is only 10 miles from Rochester, it was pretty clear we weren't going to make Canterbury any time in the next few days, plus my feet were killing me! So we stopped the night in an old coaching inn - which sounds quite romantic, except they had a 70's disco that night with a very average DJ and what must have been a huge bank of speakers 'cos it was louder than Eric and Steve the other night.

After a sleepless night we abandoned any idea of walking, and caught a train and bus through more quaint villages to Canterbury. Another glorious sunny day spent wandering around the old medieval cathedral and town - it really is amazing how many ancient buildings are still standing there.

Then to round off a perfect day, we came across a student concert in the park, lots of trance music and illegal substances in evidence - great stuff! Eventually we floated away and caught a train back to London tired, dirty but happy. I then spent Monday sunbathing in Richmond park before flying back to Aberdeen today, refreshed, sunburnt and ready to put some miles on that new bike.

not another impulse buy......?

2010-05-15T18:53:00.000+01:00

....'fraid so. Collected it this morning from my friendly motorcycle shop; they took the BMW in part-exchange, and everyone there told me I must be crazy. I decided to ride for a bit to get some miles on her (ooh, slip of the tongue there - must be careful, I'll be naming her...it...next), so I did my usual circuit along Royal Deeside to Ballater, up over the Grampian mountains to Grantown-on-spey, on up to the North-east coast with a stop for coffee and cake at Findhorn, back via Dufftown and Tarland. 250 miles seemed enough to scrub in the tyres and run her in a bit. It was also enough time for me to reflect on my biking. Is it the bike that's important, or is it the journey?

Well this bike is certainly more uncomfortable than the BMW; I've got aching wrists and knees and 'man's parts', but I've also got a grin a mile wide I can't wipe off my face.For me, there's something about smooth, instant power as soon as I twist the throttle that makes up for all the disadvantages - call me immature if you wish, but it's the buzz that makes me happy. Oh don't get the idea this is some kind of superbike and I like to emulate a racer - at my age and with my failing eyesight a moped would probably be fast enough - but I manage to go fast enough to scare myself!

another slice please

2010-05-10T17:13:00.000+01:00

I stopped eating cooked food when my pal Del died; it wasn't really a concious decision, I just couldn't be bothered cooking. So I just ate fruit. That was 5 weeks ago. I lost 2 stone, a couple of chins and a considerable number of inches off my waistline with no apparent bad effects. No hunger pangs, no cravings. Then yesterday while out riding I stopped in a cafe and had a coffee and a slice of chocolate cake. Since then I haven't stopped eating - cakes, crisps, sandwiches, a couple of chocolate bars and now I'm sitting down to a light snack of a 12" pizza and a plate of potatoes finished off with a chocolate brownie. Guess I was hungry after all!

By the way, it's the 10th May, and it's been snowing all day today. How did we get conned into believing that global warming crap? More like a new ice-age beginning.

A Classic sunny Sunday

2010-05-09T18:18:00.000+01:00

Meeting at 10am at the Feughside Inn, south Deeside, saw a nice collection of classic bikes set off for a ride through the countryside. Warm and sunny, the sight, sound and smells of these classic bikes being used was a perfect antidote to woes and worries of this modern life.

Ash cloud means happiness to some.

2010-05-05T20:09:00.000+01:00

I was sitting in Heathrow airport's Terminal 5 today reading MotorCycleNews, intrigued that somehow the columnist Kevin Ash managed to interpret the Volcanic ash cloud over Europe as a threat to motorcylists by faceless officials, and finished his column with the phrase " make no mistake, in most people's minds, 'motorcycle' equals danger - recklessness - threat - death!" Wow, wonder what drugs he's on?

I've sort of been enjoying the chaos caused by the ash cloud, purely selfish I know but it's given me plenty of time to sit around in airports reading bike magazines in an increasingly-futile search for my perfect bike. To be honest, in a vote between working or sitting in airport coffee bars listening to my ipod and reading magazines, the latter wins every time. And it gives me plenty of time to indulge in my other hobby of daydreaming and remembering happier times sitting drunk in a South American bar watching pretty girls walk by, warm sun on my face and long rambling conversations with mad Erwin the German Hells Angel. Where's that copy of Scientific American with the time-machine plans in it?

A mechanical genius I am not

2010-04-20T19:28:00.000+01:00

I bought a top box for the bike off e-bay, a proper BMW Vario branded one that I thought might improve the slightly agricultural appearance of the bike while giving me somewhere to store the helmet. As always with my purchases, things didn't go quite as planned. While attempting to fit the bracket that attaches to the rear of the bike I realised it wouldn't fit as there was a pannier bracket occupying the same space. Said bracket duly removed it then became obvious this new bracket wouldn't fit my bike. After a bit of head-scratching I came up with the solution...get Derek to fit it!

So with a bit of inventive bungee attaching, me the bike and the top box set off round to Derek's garage only to be met with a scene of utter carnage. His latest toy, the e-bay bargain track-day bike was in pieces all over the floor; as I arrived he was stripping down the gearbox, covered in oil and cackling with glee (Derek not the gearbox). As you can imagine, my seemingly insurmountable problem with the bracket was totally ignored as he ripped more and more bits off the bike.

I slunk away home, phoned the BMW dealer the next day who explained the subltelties of pannier brackets and extended bolts and bushes. So the top box is still sitting in the garage and I'm using a backpack to carry my clothes to work. One step forward.........

Oh and just to add - his running bike cost just over twice the price of my box. Hmmmmm.

Sunny Skye

2010-04-15T14:15:00.000+01:00

I went to my pal's funeral on Friday - very mixed emotions. We gave him a suitable send off with plenty of drinking and telling of stories, but somehow I couldn't shake off the gloom of loosing a best friend.

So I went home, threw some clothes in the panniers and rode off north. I made it to Inverness by nightfall (can't ride at night due to the dodgy eyes) and stayed at a hotel there. Saturday morning dawned bright and sunny and warm, which for this part of the world is most unusual. I set off down the side of Loch Ness, turned west to Kyle of Lochalsh and enjoyed a fantastic ride - empty roads, sunshine and some of the best scenery in the world. I got to the Skye road bridge around lunchtime after numerous stops to take photos; took a piss in the best kept public toilet ever and carried on over to Skye.

What a place! Biking heaven. I spent the rest of the day, and all day Sunday just riding on their fantastic roads, stopping to look at scenery and generally empty my head. I didn't fancy returning to Aberdeen, so stayed on the mainland at the picture-postcard perfect village of Plockton. Monday was still sunny, so I rode for miles on empty single-track roads up to Applecross, had lunch then carried on round to Torreidon before heading home. What a fabulous few days riding.

I decided to complete the circular route by heading back through Grantown-on Spey, up and over the rampian mountains at the Lecht ski slopes (still snow and fog-bound), back down to Ballater and along the Deeside to home. A marathon journey. The bike ran without a problem, although the noise from the windscreen drove me mad.

R.I.P. Del

2010-04-05T17:10:00.000+01:00

My best friend Del died on Wednesday night. He was 54 years old. In this area of Scotland, motorcyclists make up 2% of road traffic, but 26% of road fatalaties. It certainly makes you aware of how frail our human bodies are.

Yo quiero morir...de sentimiento

2010-03-11T17:31:00.000Z

I like Irish didley-didley-dee music, I'm very fond of Mexican mariachi and baladas, and almost always like Ry Cooders guitar work - so here's an Irish-Mexican-Ry Cooder fusion. I'm lovin' it - well worth a listen.

Long train a'coming......to Manchester?

2010-03-08T18:43:00.000Z

So here's before and after photos (well, after and before..I can't get the hang of this insert HTML thing) showing the new tyres. Me and the boys went for a ride yesterday - first proper cake run of the year. There was plenty of crap still on the roads, so I was suprised the owner of the rather posh restaurant in Dinnet let 3 mucky bikers in for coffee and cake, although we were ever-so well behaved. The new tyres are quite confidence-inspiring, so I managed to keep up with the others, although to be fair, Andy was leading and he is a bit of a wimp (allegedly).

The problem I have is - and here I am expecting comments like 'you're a big girls blouse' from a well-known lady biker - the problem is that Charles Atlas course I enrolled in didn't give me the bulging biceps I expected, so I'm...er...struggling with the weight of the bike. Yeah it's great once I'm rolling, but manoevering it around is an excercise in panic and fear. So, deep breath here and speak really fast, Iwenttothebikeshopandtestrodeanotherbiketoday.

I know, I know, I've just got it and I should give it a chance and it's a really great bike... but if I'm honest I convinced myself I wanted a tourer, when all I want to do is loon around and pretend I'm 18 and pull wheelies down Union street.

I've got a couple of days to decide what to do - I'm off tomorrow on a train to Manchester, which seems like it could be a great adventure as I'm not a public transport sort of person. And I have to take buses when I get to the other end and stay in a hotel, the organisation of which has severly taxed my patience as I make it a rule NEVER to book anything in advance, then visit my favourite hospital, Christies. I also thought to hire a car and visit some classic bike shops in the area, but lost my powers of organisation after the rigours of ScotRail online booking system so I'll probably just take a taxi to 'Curry Mile' and avail myself of some fine ethnic food. Blimey, I'm exhausted just writing about it!

New tyres

2010-03-05T17:55:00.000Z

Went to my local independant tyre shop to get the new Bridgestones fitted yesterday. Of course just as the final nut was being torqued-up it started to rain; still better than snow, eh? I decided to put some miles on the tyres to scrub them in, just in case the weather was fine the weekend and I could get out for a ride. There's some brilliant riding roads just a few miles outside Aberdeen, so I set off North then turned inland. Yikes! All the side roads still have snow/ice/crap on them; so it was a sort of tippy-toe ride. I was going to take a photo of the rear tyre to show off my riding skills to everyone, but the wear strip is only about half-inch wide so that'll have to wait.

New tyres for the BMW...and maybe a hearing aid.

2010-03-02T19:47:00.000Z

I've been sitting looking out of the window waiting for the snow to stop. Now it finally has and I can get the bike out of the garage, I was thinking of getting some different tyres for the R1200GS. Its fitted with Metzler Tourance, they're knobbly and look like they'd be OK offroad. I want to change them for a pure road tyre 'cos I know I'm never going offroad on it - if I dropped it I'd never pick it up, it's all I can do to push it backwards across the gravel drive. And my riding needs all the help it can get. So if anyone has any recommendations I'd be pleased to hear them. Thankyou.

Oh and I must remember to wear the ear-plugs when I'm out riding; I have noticed my hearing getting worse, although to be honest lots of other body parts are wearing out too so maybe it's just my age, anyway, I was listening to the radio while getting ready for work this morning when they announced the tragic death of a young television presenter who presented a programme called "Die or don't die". Now I don't watch much TV, my viewing being limited to re-runs of American Chopper, American Hotrod, Biker buildoff...you get the idea, so I did wonder what kind of programme that would be with such a title as "Die or don't die". So when I got to work I asked the other boring bastards - you know, "what type of programme was that, the one called "Die or don't die?" which by the way sounds like it could be pretty exciting, I must admit I spent the drive to work imagining all the different scenarios you could explore with a programme like that.

Turns out the programme was called "Buy or don't buy"; it's about buying a house and evidently I'm both deaf and stupid. According to my co-workers. And my ex-wives.

MCN bike show

2010-02-08T17:43:00.000Z

I flew down to London Friday night, stayed with my son. We'd made plans to visit the MCN Motorbike show, held out in Docklands in the Excel centre. Up early Saturday morning, caught the tube and were walking in the entrance at 9am. Got all excited by the shiny classic bikes on display, only to find the impulse purchase of a new camera at the airport hadn't paid off - couldn't get a decent picture! After a bit of fiddling with the menu I got a couple of reasonable photos, but most of them were too dark, which is a shame as I'd crept up behind a gaggle of scantily-clad MCN babes bending over........never mind.

El D jr. has his eye on a new bike, is finding his R6 a bit of a chore filtering through London traffic; I reckon either the Ducati Monster or the Triumph Street triple would suit him, but after looking at the photos I took we both decided he looked a bit gay on them, so it probably won't happen.

I did cheat on the GS a little, threw my leg over every bike there, but to be honest didn't see anything that took my fancy, so I guess we'll stick together for now. Suprisingly, we both left the show having bought absolutely nothing at all, most unusual.

Oh yeah, that new version of the Triumph Rocket 3 - the roadster; its a monster!

Oh no, it's finally happened.......

2010-02-03T17:06:00.000Z

So my Dad has fallen asleep Sunday afternoon beside the fire with the newspaper "news of the world" draped over his face, soothed no doubt by the gentle sounds of the Cliff Adams singers broadcasting on the light programme from our new radiogramme with their popular "sing something simple" musical harmonies. I turn down the volume and surreptitiously re-tune the radio to the new pirate station Radio 390 - DJ Mike Raven has an R&B programme called "Raven Around" where he plays all sorts of strange music by people with names like Big Bill Broonzy and Bessie Smith. Enthralled, I gradually turn the volume up until Dad is woken up with a start and shouts "get that rubbish off". He slowly gets up and walks over to the radio gramme and puts on his favourite LP by his fellow Dundonian, Jimmy Shand - Track 1 side 2 is his favourite "Bonnie Dundee". As the dreaded sounds of the accordion-playing Scottish nutter blast out, I run upstairs to my bedroom and try to tune my new transistor radio into Radio Luxembourg, but its after 7pm so the reception has gone and all I get is occasional bits of music and loads of static. I wonder why anyone would listen to Scottish country music when there's a whole new world of music out there, surely this year, 1961, must be the best ever for music.

Fast forward to 2010; bored with listening to the radio I scroll through the music selection on my ipod, everything from Abba to Zeavon. Still bored, I turn on the CD player and dig through the piles of CD's heaped all over the floor. Finally, I sit back on the sofa and listen to the soothing sounds of "Scottish Country music" - "the Ruby" being a particular favourite. AAAARRRRGGGHHHH! I'VE TURNED INTO MY DAD!

Not that long ago really......

2010-02-01T18:35:00.000Z

So now its official, this December and January were the coldest on record for Scotland since records began in 1914.

A couple of things struck me when I heard that on the news today; firstly, when they said "since records began" I expected the date to be a lot longer ago than 1914, considering Rabbie Burns banged on in great detail about his life and loves and spiders and haggis 200 years ago you would have thought he'd have mentioned the weather. In fact, we apparently know all the details of William Wallace's great battle of May 1297 including the names of the people who died, but no mention of whether it was sunny or wet that day. Strange. Although to be honest, as its always cold here in Scotland, and either raining or about to rain, I suppose no-one thought it that important to record the fact. Still, to put a personal perspective on it, my Nan would have been 20 before they starting recording the weather, which seems strange as she banged on about it all the time!

The other thing is - will all those people who've been talking about Global warming shut up and let us carry on riding bikes and driving cars without making us feel like we're destroying the planet? Probably not.

boom boom

2010-01-26T14:16:00.000Z

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With the entire bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooosh! Plop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink!"

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop! Two arms pop out...?

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another drink!"
The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

*

*
(Wait for it.)

*

*
*

(It's coming.)

*

*

*

*

*
"He should have quit while he was still a head!"

roll on summer

2010-01-25T17:20:00.000Z

It stopped raining today, and the temperature has risen to a tropical 3 degC so I bunked-off work and went for a ride. Bit wobbly to begin with, but a quick stop to put air in the tyres soon cured that. Dropped my helmet on a garage forecourt while filling up with petrol and gouged the visor, but by some process of time travel to a parallel universe or something I had anticipated just such an event and purchased a new visor and pinlock insert over the internet just a few days ago. I'd also forgotten how the engine sounded like a tin with a load of old nuts and bolts rattling around, so must get my mate Derek to look at it, but those minor things apart I had a great day! I just love being on the bike even when its freezing and the roads are covered in crap - roll on summer!

Sexy bits

2010-01-20T18:32:00.000Z

I believe all blokes collect shiny stuff that ends up stuffed at the back of the wardrobe, go on count up how many cameras/digital music players you have. I was looking for a new camera to take on expeditions this year, as I trawled around e-bay I slowly realised...there's the film SLR that I bought a few years ago hardly used, the compact digital with extending lens that I only used once, the digital SLR that I bought cheap on e-bay (still in the box) and the compact digital I carry in my pocket when out riding. Then there's the semi-pro film video camera I bought on e-bay to make a film (still editing), the compact film video camera I used on that trip to Australia and the digital video camera I bought recently that I was thinking of changing for a HD version. And don't even mention ipods/music players/mini discs! Or that B&O CD player that was a steal on e-bay which is still in the box. So thats all a bloke thing and thats fine; but then as I was deep into the internet looking at bits for the bike that I don't really need, I wondered if lady bikers do this as well? And if they do, is the selection based on things they actually need, or the fact that the thing is super-light or super-shiny or just plain sexy as only stainless steel bolts and carbon fibre things are...hang on, I think I've answered my own question there. Sexy & stainless steel are probably only used in the same sentence by a bloke.

The saga continues....

2010-01-09T21:50:00.000Z

Despite the bravado expressed in my previous post, financial considerations dictated that I really should get back to work soon. So after trying to get a flight again on Thursday with no luck, I decided to drive up to Aberdeen. I spent the day Friday thinking about it, then finally got round to getting in the car today. I set off around lunchtime after a hearty breakfast followed by a mid-morning snack, sure that I could get lunch on the motorway - I'm back off the booze now and seem to have found my appetite. The car seemed to be driving a bit strange, but I put that down to lack of use. A quick stop to check the tyre pressures revealed a bloody huge carbuncle on the wall of one tyre, which I decided was not good, so I decided to head into the nearest town of Oxford to find a tyre dealer.

Four hours and several 'kwick-fits' later, and without any lunch, I was back on the road. Evidently my car has an uncommon tyre size, which I find amazing as there's bloody millions of them driving around, but there you go. I set off again, by now it's getting dark, the roads full of salt and grit and my washers have frozen - why did I think this was a great idea? So I decided to stop and find a hot meal to keep me going; the management of the service station on the M6 toll had however decided that no-one would want a hot meal at the unearthly late hour of 6pm, and had closed the food counter. As I sat eating my partly-frozen sandwich I thought bugger this, the travel gods are against me, which is why I'm sitting in a motel room reading bike mags with 450 miles still to go.

No work today

2010-01-06T17:12:00.000Z

I spent two hours today in that "international retail opportunity" that is Heathrow Terminal 5. There were no flights "due to adverse weather conditions", so I couldn't return to the frozen north, and work.

Hooray!

I'll try again tomorrow, but am praying to the weather gods to carry on snowing so I can have another week away from that hell-hole. Actually, if it snowed until March I'd be happy if it meant I didn't have to return to work.

An update.......

2010-01-03T12:37:00.000Z

I phoned my pal Derek yesterday, he tells me that since I left Aberdeen they've had constant snow, night-time temperatures of -16 degC and daytime temperatures of around -4 degC. Sounds like leaving was a good idea!

I've just caught up with a film I wanted to see - "The Motorcycle diaries" the story of Che Guevara's early travels around South America with a friend on a 500 Norton named "the mighty one". I enjoyed it for many reasons, the main one being that the fim is in Spanish with English subtitles; and as its basically a buddy road movie, there's loads of swearing. I love to hear swearing in Spanish, it seems so much more descriptive yet almost poetic. I work in 'Engineering', so our everday vocabulary consists of the f-word, the c-word and a few descriptive additions like "nut" or "bolt" thrown in to add clarity ( although I did once hear probably the ultimate description comprising of swear words - "this f#ckin' f#cker's f#ckin' f#cked"-classic!) but we 're not very descriptive when it comes to insults. I mean, no-one would say "son of a bitch" and expect it to raise an eyebrow, but somehow "hijo de puta", especially when the emphasis is placed on the "puta", has a special ring. In fact I was so impressed with the swearing in the film that I'm working on a couple of new phrases that I could use if I ever go back to South America. The first one is "may your excrement turn solid and block your back passage for ever" which is non-gender specific so could be used in almost any situation; also because I love to say the word "eternidad", it does actually sound like forever. I'm also working on another one "may the tip of your penis heal up and force your testicles to explode" but thats still a work in progress. In the meantime I'm going to continue with my meditation, beard-growing and self-imposed task of consuming the total EU production of wine and beer. Bottoms-up!

Last cake run of 2009 for me....

2009-12-13T14:38:00.000Z

The temperature was hovering around 0 degC yesterday morning at 10am - I was getting the bike out to go for the final "cake run" of 2009 with young Derek. Mindful of the useful information on Troubadour's blog about windchill factors, I had thermal longjohns under my trousers, the heated vest under my jacket and a natty little balaclava under my helmet. Feeling rather like the Michelin man I turned up the heated grips to #2 and set off meet Derek, whose only concession to the weather was to wear 2 tee-shirts under his jacket.

As we rode further west alongside the river Dee the temperature dropped; the scenery was pretty amazing, everything white and frozen and still. A plus point for me was being able to keep up with the R1, in fact it was probably the slowest I've seen the boy ride since he passed his test. In fact the roads weren't as slippery as I'd imagined, although they did get worse the further inland we rode.

A welcome stop at a cafe for a hot soup and chocolate cake (got to keep that calorific intake up in this cold weather) brought the most suprising reaction of the day - from the other patrons of the cafe. No-one could believe we were on bikes in such weather, we were feted, carried around the cafe high on shoulders, pretty women wanted us to have their babies......well obviously I made that last bit up, but we were amazed by the reaction, the weather didn't seem bad enough to treat us like heroes. So we luxuriated in all the attention, then swaggered out of the cafe like a couple of old-time gunslingers with somewhere important to go.

Ah, now it all made sense, the temperature had dropped to -7 degC and there was a nice thick freezing fog spreading up from the river. So we spent a cold miserable hour trying to peer through the murk on the way home while trying to clean the crap off the visors with one hand(why can't they fit screen wipers to a helmet?).

But despite all that, it was a brilliant day out - any time spent on the bike makes me feel good inside; and as I said at the beginning, it was the last "cake run" of the year for me. I've decided to take a little break from reality, well, my reality of constantly working, living alone and feeling suicidal except when on the bike so I'm off next week to....well I don't actually know where; as most of my plans turn to shit I've decided not to make any.

So I'll just wish you all a merry Christmas, hope everyone gets bike-related presents and say "Hasta luego".

conflicting emotions.

2009-12-01T19:28:00.000Z

Conflicting emotions - I flew up to Aberdeen today from a long weekend in London, as I looked out of the aircraft window, there below us was the magnificent sight of the Grampian mountains covered in snow, so picturesque it made me smile. Then came the conflict - yikes! thats where I live. Sure enough, the last few miles to the cottage saw snow drifting across the road and a white-out. The mudslide (drive) had a nice layer of soft snow so I managed to get up to the house, but as I look out of the window now it's still snowing, so maybe I won't be able to get out tomorrow. Which wouldn't be so bad normally, I mean, any excuse not to go to work, right? But tomorrow I should be moving to a new house in town. The romantic notion of wilderness living that I have treasured for some time has foundered on the rock of reality (thats my attempt to lift the literary level of this blog); whatever, I figured if I move into town I'll probably get to use the bike more, and thats what keeps me going.

Especially after the shit weekend I had. I flew down to London to see if me and the soon-to-be ex-Mrs El D could patch things up, but it was not to be. So I visited my son, who's living with a FHM swimsuit model and a lovely pair they are; saw my daughter who's just split up with her boyfriend of many years and is now apparently attempting to sleep with the whole male population of west London; visited my 87 yr old mother who is definitely healthier than me, then rounded it all up with a 24 hour technicolour dream.. I wish. No, sorry, 24 hours of arguments. I tell you, that's the first time I've been happy to get to Terminal 5.

Drifted off the subject there...oh yeah, so tomorrow I get to find out how the GS performs on snow. Can't wait. Cheerio.

Don't beat me up, I'll do it myself.

2009-11-24T18:14:00.000Z

Well this is written as an apology for the last couple of boring posts - I mean who wants to read about someone going for a ride when that's what we all do, right?

So I'm going to offer up a couple of excuses. The first is of course that I'm pretty boring anyway, what do you expect from a reformed alcoholic living alone in a remote cottage in the Scottish highlands making wildlife videos for fun?

The second excuse is......shit, I've already used that one.

So what happened was that a few months ago I developed a problem with my left eye, which the pretty young doctor lady told me was due to my age. It kept me off the bike for a few weeks only, although it hasn't got much better I've just put up with it. Then last week the other eye developed the same problem. Now I don't know about you, but it seems to me that once is an accident, but twice is more than a coincidence. This time the PYDL (AMAZING...I've only had a German bike for a few weeks and I've started to think in acronyms) mentioned the age thing again, then added in stuff like extreme short-sight and detached retinas.

That's when I panicked. I don't know about you, but I like reading and writing and looking at stuff, especially if it means I can earn a living as well, so I'm not too comfortable with the idea of giving up looking, especially if it means not riding the bike. So (here it comes...) the reason why the last post was so boring was because I was wobbling along at 40mph trying to judge corners and not fall off and so didn't have time to take in anything interesting. Yeah I know that sounds even lamer than the first excuse, oh and please don't say I shouldn't have been riding because some boring bastard in my office keeps going on about it as well.

Highwaylass has been summing it up recently in her posts - riding makes you feel alive. I know I still have a grin every time I get on the bike, even if I can't really see where I'm going.

Better than staying in...

2009-11-23T12:46:00.000Z

True to my word (see below) I've been using the bike no matter what the weather gods have thrown at us. Yesterday we had gale-force winds and torrential rain, but I still met a couple of the lads for a ride. Mind you, when we got to Ballater and saw the snow above the town we did turn around and beat a hasty retreat.

I'm pretty pleased with the GS, I'm using it in weather that I wouldn't have ventured out in on the Bandit, so thats a bonus. And it looks better all covered in mud as well. I also discovered that wet grass doesn't seem to offer much grip, even for knobbly tyres, so I'll have to stick to the mudslide, as I affectionately call my driveway, for access to the house.

Trapped

2009-11-09T17:26:00.000Z

We had quite a heavy frost Saturday night, it looked like it had been snowing. Laying on top of the already iced-up dirt track down to the road, it was enough to make me decide not to go out for the Sunday morning ride - and anyway, Derek had just fitted new tyres to the fireblade so he wasn't going anywhere.

Looking on the bright side, that gave me time to fit some of the new goodies I'd bought for the bike. First on were the Tobinators (thanks for the tip, Nikos) which I'd hoped would be really complicated and trick-looking given their name, but turned out to be a couple of bits of metal with a slot in, but they fitted to the screen easily so that was a bonus. Next up was the carbon-fibre rear hugger which evidently weighs 1 oz, or maybe 10 oz, whatever, it was extremely light and sexy-looking and fitted well.

In fact it all went so well, including fitting the uprated bulbs, that I was soon faced with a whole day in front of me with nothing else to do. So..I cleaned the cottage!!! How sad is that. I even ironed a couple of shirts, made my dinner and watched X-factor on the TV. Oh and by the way what a twat that Simon is, he had a chance to get rid of Jedward and he bottled it.

So next week I'm going out on the bike even if I have to carry it down the track on my back.

a little light relief

2009-11-06T11:41:00.000Z

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

"Och, it's nae that dark!"

Not like in my day....

2009-10-28T16:49:00.000Z

My goodness we've been having some awful weather up here - it's rained everyday for the last 3 weeks. So I thought it the perfect time to buy a new bike.

Having given up on my cunning plan to convert my bandit streetfighter to a touring bike, the penny finally dropped - that's it El D, buy a touring bike. So I bought this second-hand BMW 1200GS. And believe it or not, today dawned bright and dry so me and the bandit slid down the dirt track and off to the dealers to do the swop.

All proud, I took the afternoon off work to go for a nice long ride; pulled into a little petrol station up in the Highlands and the elderly attendant asked " Off touring then?" When I started to tell some story about where I was going, he stated "rubbish these modern bikes, too big, too tall, engines too big. In my day if you had a 500 you were top of the heap - best bike I had was a Norton Dominator, nice and low, threw a leather pannier on it and went of and toured switzerland and belgium...." shook his head in disgust and wandered away.

Exit one embarrassed El D.

The good news is we despatched the dirt track up to the cottage with ease, and I felt strangely happy to see mud splattered all over the bike. Bit noisy with the screen though, I suppose I'll get used to it.

city of light......

2009-09-28T20:54:00.000+01:00

It seemed as if Saturday could be the last day of summer, so I decided to make a visit to Findhorn, up on the north-east coast near Inverness. Got up early and had a fantastic (if freezin') ride up over the Lecht, down through Tomintoul and Grantown-on-spey, up to Forres and on to Findhorn.

Arrived at the 'city of light' as immortalised Eileen Caddy's books, and Mike Scotts "Long way to the light" (http://www.last.fm/music/Mike+Scott/_/Long+Way+to+the+Light?autostart)mid-morning to blazing sunshine and blue skies.

"Hang on El D" I can hear you saying, "bikers and hippies don't mix". Well, I look at it like this - bikers love the idea of freedom, right, isn't that why we do it? So if you're into mechanical stuff, then living off-the-grid has appeal, all those windturbine gears and batteries and wires and stuff and dare I say it living outside the system ... And meditating is pretty much the same as riding a bike - 'empty your mind of all thoughts and concentrate' well thats what I have to do or I fall off!

Anyway, I had a wander around the eco-village, which is really what Findhorn is famous for - they pretty much developed eco-housing, self-sufficient living and community ideals, having first set-up back in 1962. It's a fascinating place, and I have to admit I've made a few trips there over the years. They've also got a great little cafe so I had a nice lunch in the sun and pondered all those questions like..what next? I haven't really got my head around being 60, I should be a grandad but I feel like I'm a grandson - if you know what I mean?

Whoa, this was all getting a bit heavy, so I decided to ride off and visit Loch Ness instead. Didn't see Nessie, saw some great scenery and empty riding roads and spent the rest of the day inside my head. Got home late, weary and saddle-sore, fell into bed and slept like a log. Suicidal Sunday, crap Monday at work; I'm thinking its time to move on from here. I'm still going to keep on riding though 'till the arthritis gets too bad. Must test ride a Harley, they're good for old men, right?

Another great biking day

2009-09-20T17:07:00.000+01:00

Got up early today, rode up and over Cairn'o Mount down to the coast to visit an old pal. Then down to Forfar, back over Glen Shee to Braemar then home. The sun shone, my eye seems OK; all is well with my world. Loads of bikes outside the caff enjoying the sunshine, saw a couple of different ones. Another great biking day!

Happy old git

2009-09-19T08:40:00.000+01:00

It has been only four weeks since I last rode my bike, but it felt like a lifestime when I got on yesterday. I wobbled off down the road like a learner, my only excuse that it was extremely cold and I had forgotten how awkward winter gloves feel the first time back on. Oh, and I was trying to concentrate on seeing properly - I broke my eye 4 weeks ago and its been like trying to peer out through a black lace curtain, so no driving. The very pleasant young lady at the hospital offered the explanation that "these things happen when you reach your sixth decade" which I suppose was a nice way of saying you're an old git, what do you expect. I was also a bit nervous as I'd fitted a new front tyre the day I broke the eye, so that wasn't scrubbed in, and the road was pretty slipperry (frost in September - one of the wonderful things about living in NE Scotland).

Anyway, once I got a few miles under my belt it all felt great again; isn't riding a bike just one of the best feelings in the world?

Another great day out

2009-08-22T17:11:00.000+01:00

Got up at the crack of dawn today and rode up to Strathdon in the Highlands. The event was the 168th Lonach Highland gathering and games. Following a tradition going back to 1823, the Lonach Highlanders, comprising members of the Forbes family and their clansmen, march around the village accompanied by a pipe band and visit each house. There they are given hospitality which comprises of a wee dram of whiskey. The march starts at 8am and finishes at 1pm; the Highlanders are followed by a horse-drawn cart which is to provide transport for anyone overcome by too much 'hospitality'. According to the elderly Scottish gentleman beside me, no-one has needed this assistance - ever. They then march into the park where the games have been going on since 9am and march around the field.

All very colourful, and the sun came out for a while to make it an even better day. By lunchtime I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with the crowds, so I got on the bike and rode up and over Tomintoul, past the Lecht ski-slopes and headed down to Braemar for a cup of tea. Just outside the town I spotted a bike coming up fast behind me - then he was past and gone, on some kind of old bike. I caught up with him and he stopped outside the cafe - a nice old Norton. For some reason it was a biker day at the caff, plates of chips everywhere! Had a nice rest then rode home. A very enjoyable day out.

Best laid plans......

2009-08-16T12:29:00.000+01:00

Well my planned escape for a week or two with Steve to explore Northern Scotland hasn't worked out - he just can't handle the weather up here and has decided he wants to go somewhere warmer and sunnier. What with that and the non appearance of my seat sent away for a gel insert, I've given up on the long distance rides.

However, as I live in a great part of the country for empty,winding roads I decided I'll just keep going out for day rides. So yesterday I drove down alongside the River Dee to Ballater, stopped for coffee and chocolate cake then turned off the main road onto a single track road that went up to Glen Gairn, then followed an old military road up and into the Grampian mountains. What a laugh! The single track road was full of crests and dips, with no traffic I was able to get air under the wheels for the first time.

The road went back down towards Braemar; it was just so nice riding along, a different view around every bend, the hills are now turning purple with heather and there's still plenty of wildlife to be seen off the beaten track. Had a great ride and the sun even came out for an hour or two. Stopped beside the hump-backed bridge in the photo and had a laugh watching cars trying to negotiate it; you can't see in the photo but it's single track and its impossible to see who's coming the other way - hours of fun watching cars backing up and down in the sun. Then when I got back to the cottage I decided to ride up the track into the forest and disturbed a couple of deer frolicking around - now that was a great day.

Now today I'm supposed to spend the day in front of this laptop; my final assignment for the course I'm doing is due in 3 weeks and I've about 3 months-worth of work still to do but the sun is shining and I can almost hear the bike whispering ride me, ride me; curse you Bandit!

Garage door opener

2009-08-15T11:12:00.000+01:00

This is good

http://www.motorcyclenews.com/MCN/News/newsresults/videos/2009/July/jul3109-video-funny-automatic-garage-door-opener/

Old bike mags rule!

2009-08-02T16:24:00.000+01:00

Sometimes, it's the little things that change a boring day to an enjoyable one. I had to work today, took the bike and halfway through the urgent (aren't they all) job I looked out the window and the sun was shining. This is quite an unusual event here in the North East so I left work and went for a ride, but be assured I will book the whole day!

A while later I was sitting outside a caff in the pleasant little town of Ballater drinking coffee and eating one of their delicious chocolate cakes watching the world go by and considerably cheered-up.

As I had finally fitted my new luggage (found that M6 x 60 bolt I needed in a bin in the local feed store - 20p, bargain!), I decided to browse the second-hand bookshop next door where I knew there were loads of bargains to be had; I usually can only buy one book at a time and stuff it inside my jacket but now I knew I could buy loads of worthless junk.

Anyway, there tucked away in a corner was a stash of old bike mags, result! I rode home post-haste to read through them and now I'm in heaven. Old bike mags and 'sounds of the seventies' on the local radio station, serendipity or what - colour pictures of an Ariel square four with the Stones singing 'you can't always get what you want'AND a Belgian chocolate brownie I got from the caff, it doesn't get much better.

I particularly like the sound of this film advertised in 'Road Rocket no.2' (I know I don't remember it either) 'My little sister rides a motorbike' by Anne Parisio a black and white homage to the rockers of the fifties - wonder if you can still get a copy? Oh and the letter pages are brilliant "If Road Rocket is meant to be a NEW motorcycle magazine, its PATHETIC. A couple of pictures of Vic Reeves and his mates, some poxy astronaut and a jerk wearing platforms doesn't make it new, it makes it PATHETIC. Give up, you wankers" - straight to the point, eh!

So now I'm torn between a fifties British bike fitted with one of those beautiful nose cones, a modified Harley chop with a semi-naked young lady draped over it, or a drag bike!

REALITY - those flimsy extended footpegs I bought only lasted one ride - I couldn't persuade my old arthritic knees to pivot enough to allow me to brake or change gear - the boss that screws to the footpeg mount forced my big feet outboard enough that I couldn't reach the padals. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

plans and forward thinking..not round here

2009-07-30T17:57:00.000+01:00

The cunning plan to convert my streetfighter into a BMW tourer has taken a slight stumble - the lowered footpegs arrived, although they do look a wee bit flimsy I'll fit them tomorrow; the HID headlamp kit also arrived although a quick read through the instructions confirmed my aversion to 'white mans magic' so Derek will have to fit that for me in between fettling his R1. I did attempt to fit the rear luggage rack for the smart new soft bag, although inexplicably one of the 4 bolts was 10 mm shorter than the rest so won't screw into the bracket so now I'm trying to source one of the correct length - not easy when you live in a farming community "I need a M8 x 60 long capscrew please" "Ay lad, just tie it on with baling wire"

But the biggest setback is the lack of a seat (obviously). Rather than pay 260 quid to Suzuki for a new gel seat, I thought I'd be clever and send my seat away and have it refurbished for 60 quid..of course it's now somewhere within the postal system and I can't ride the bike. Ah well, at least I can console myself that in this wettest summer since Noah started keeping records I probably wouldn't have ridden it much. Oh yeah, and why would a manufacturer of motorbike luggage make something that wasn't waterproof? I was gobsmacked when the girl asked if I wanted a waterproof cover for it - of course I do!!!

So heres a couple of photos of those Triumphs I test rode, plus a Megalithic stone circle in the churchyard and some flimsy footpegs.

memories......

2009-07-21T17:41:00.000+01:00

I just found this photo of my 1966 Airstream; me and Mrs El D lived in it for 2 1/2yrs while travelling around the USA. Happy days!

the search for a replacement bike hits a snag

2009-07-19T12:20:00.000+01:00

I've been spending a bit of time lately searching for a replacement bike - not that theres really anything wrong with the bandit, just a few niggles. Despite fiddling with the rear shock settings, I still keep getting thrown off the seat on bumps, although thats a bit of a blessing as the seat has to be the most uncomfortable thing this side of a plank of wood. As I've got plans to take off for a week or two in August with my mate Stevie, I thought I'd see what could be done to improve my biking comfort.

So I tested a Triumph Rocket III which was bloody BIG and chromey, although it went alright for a cruiser and was reasonably comfortable, but really a bit BIG for me. Then I took out the new Triumph Thunderbird, which was much better than the America I had last year - plenty of go and it handled quite well. Still had that strange riding position though, which seems to make my old back ache after a few miles.

I then spotted a BMW 1200GS lurking in the back of the showroom, so I took that out, What a revelation, no more bumps throwing me out of my seat, I was able to stretch out my long legs and my back didn't ache at the end of the ride. I was smitten....until I saw the price!

It's not that I'm tight (well alright actually I probably am) , but that seems an awful lot of money for a toy. I've spent the last few days thinking it over, and maybe a set of lowered footpegs and a gel seat may be the way forward........

Any ornithologists out there?

2009-07-01T12:06:00.000+01:00

Inspired by Troubador I went out and bought a video camera to mount on the bike; of course I haven't got round to it yet, although I've bunked off work for a couple of days to enjoy the heatwave the UK is currently enjoying so I'm hoping to get it fixed up soon. In the meantime, however I was looking out the window when I spotted this handsome-looking chap, not being a birder I don't have a clue what he is so any answers will be gratefully received (please excuse the shaky hand, old age you know!, and don't mention the music in the background)

tales from the country

2009-06-24T17:54:00.000+01:00

It'll soon be three months since I moved into my cottage - on reflection, things haven't gone exactly how I'd imagined. The idea behind moving here was to be able to ride the bike to work on some of the best riding roads I've been on, and I have to admit that when the sun is shining it is the most fabulous journey; it's like my own personal road-race course, and it's a very busy day if I see more than 2 cars in the first 20 miles.

However, this is north-east Scotland, so in the first 5 weeks I only managed to get the bike down the muddy 1/2 mile track to the main road 3 times, mainly because it never stopped bloody raining! Just lately it's got a bit better, although this morning I was down to 20mph in the thickest fog I've seen since I was a kid and had to walk in front of my Dads Ford Esquire (a 100e van with windows if you're wondering)with a torch to see the kerb down Dagenham Heathway one Sunday night. But then that was before they brought in the clean air act and stopped us burning coal and old ladies dying from breathing in "pea-soupers". Bloody hell, that bit sounds like the 19th century!

Anyway, as I was saying it's been better weather lately so I've been out exploring; for some unexplained reason, ancient stone circles are 10-a-penny up here, with a local speciality being the recumbent stone circle (obviously I read all this in a leaflet www.aberdeenshire.gov.uk/archaeology )which is your normal stone circle with an additional big stone laid on its side at one end between the two biggest stones (stop me if I'm boring you here). As the nice old lady said that I met in Midmar churchyard, where they built the new church (16th cent.) virtually on top of the stone circle (2500 BC..ish) - "that looks like where they performed the human sacrifices" and then after she walked away I found the internal organs of some animal lying on the ground inside the circle near where she was standing...ooh-er.

So I've been travelling around with my big OS map, riding up little tracks to find Bronze age hill forts, stone circles (I always walk round them 3 times clockwise, I think one of my ex-wives told me you had to do that to open the doorway to the next dimension...yeah, totally bonkers!), even Macbeth's stone, and Macbeth's well - yes the actual Macbeth that Shakespeare wrote about - although to be honest the stone was in a big field full of other stones so I'm not 100% sure I got the right stone - but it's all been educational and fulfilling and has stopped me going to the pub and getting sh*tfaced every night. In fact, all the exercise pushing the bike round gravel carparks has made me feel quite fit.

All in all, then, I have to say the experience of being a city boy living in the country has been...OK. I'll have to move back to town by the end of summer, as it's obvious I'll never get my car up here in the winter, let alone a bike - and I have new plans in that department anyway; have you seen that new Triumph Thunderbird?

Looks nice and I am getting too old to keep up with the young boys - oh I forgot to mention, young Derek had an accident two weeks ago, wrote off his ninja filtering down the dual carriageway between 2 lines of cars when one of them decided to change lanes without looking. He's alright, and the insurance company paid up right away; he's gone out and bought an R1 so there's definitely not a lot of chance of me keeping up now, so perhaps the cruiser is a good way of me saving face "sorry lads, you go on, this thing handles like shit".

Apologies for the length of this (as the bishop...)but the other effect of living up here is not speaking to anyone for days on end except those numpties I work with.

whats not to like?

2009-05-19T13:04:00.000+01:00

6am Sunday morning sharing a bench in Cannes bus station with a comatose drunk and two weary hookers I watched the early morning sunrise glinting off the hulls of the mega-yachts in the harbour and thought to myself this makes a nice change.

A friend of a friend was looking for some help during the Cannes film festival, he wanted someone to drive a van advertising his film around Cannes so I thought that would make a nice little break – I mean, what’s not to like? I love driving, I like looking at attractive women, and here’s someone willing to give me free food and accommodation to do just that.

So I’ve just spent a week enjoying blue skies and warm sunshine; saw loads of famous film stars that I didn’t recognise (well they had loads of photographers around them so they must be famous, right?); and spent time studying the riding habits of our French biker cousins. They are MAD. They seem to show absolutely no sense of danger, weaving in and out of traffic at high speed wearing flip-flops and shorts. I also like the way they manage to smoke while riding; my favourite was the middle-aged gent puffing on a pipe as he chugged along looking rather like a two-wheeled steam train.

I was also impressed with the number of custom bikes, mostly Harleys of course; particularly interesting was the orange creation I spotted cruising along the promenade with an impossible riding position – full marks go to the matching crash lid with spikes on.

Back to reality now though – when I left Cannes it was 29 deg and sunny, here at my little cottage in NorthEast Scotland its 8 degrees and the rain has washed out the track so I can’t get the bike down it. Oh well it could be worse………

a little hide-away

2009-05-05T09:17:00.000+01:00

There’s a fairly tenuous link to biking this week – I’ve just moved into a remote cottage at the edge of the Cairngorm Mountains. After spending the majority of my life living in cities I thought it would be nice to be part of the isolated rural idyll.

Well, to be a little more truthful, it appears that the present Mrs El Diente is about to become an ex*, so , basing my behaviour on the flight not fight pattern I’ve moved about as far away from London as is possible without falling in the sea.

But (and here’s the tenuous link) I can now commute to work by bike along some of the most picturesque yet empty roads I’ve ridden on; well I can in summer, anyway. Obviously in winter I shall have to buy a 4WD or move back to Aberdeen, but that seems a long way off so I just intend to enjoy it while I can.

*I like to think my Scottish ancestry has blessed me with a character that could be described as ‘reserved’; evidently this can also be interpreted variously as ‘miserable’, ‘moody’ and ‘grumpy old bastard’.

Charity run

2009-04-26T14:06:00.000+01:00

The local bike club organised a charity run for breast cancer today. I took a selection of photos at the start this morning. My particular favourites are the lady biker with pink angel wings, the gold custom paint on one of the cruisers, and the guy with the biggest balls in the world who turned up on his restored 1961 Vespa scooter!

Hopefully I've managed to download the photos and they'll be beside this post as a slideshow. If not.....help!

Stop Press...yeah as you can see I couldn't do that slideshow thing. I'm bored now, I've spent all afternoon on Flickr uploading photos - curse this old age, I need a 10 year old to show me how to do this! Anyway, if anyone knows how to access Flickr, the photos are in eldientephoto under Sunday Charity Bike Ride.

Swop it or modify it?

2009-04-25T09:03:00.000+01:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I was a bit disappointed with the wear properties of the OE Dunlop rear tyre on the bandit - completely shagged after 1400 miles! After reading a couple of intrnet forums I decided to try a dual compound tyre. Dunlop produce the Sportsmax Roadsmart which gets pretty good reviews, so I got the local bike-friendly tyre fitter to put one on for me. What a difference! Obviously I don't know how it's going to wear, but the bike feels much better to ride - no more squirming around in bends, and seemingly (this may be my imagination) much better general roadholding, although that may just be due to the roads finally drying out and not being covered in mud and crap.

I also had a test ride on a Triumph Tiger - after last weekends'longer ride left me with sore wrists and a numb bum I started thinking at my age it's time to get something more suitable to tour around on, but then a chance late-night trawl through some motorbike web pages turned up a set of handlebar risers guarenteed to take away the pain of touring.

I fitted them yesterday and then went for a run out; they seem to help with the general posture as today my wrists don't ache and neither does my back, and of course they're a much cheaper fix than buying that new bike. I'll give them a longer try-out today after I've finished work; hopefully the thick fog that spoiled my ride in this morning will burn off by lunchtime.

Derek's neighbour Alan was showing me his old AJS 350 single last night (its in beautiful condition) and we were comparing it to his BMW 1200 Adventure - it's about half the size and looks so simple to ride. But then we started to talk about biking in 'the old days', when the bikes needed constant fettling to keep them going, and how everyone fitted different bits to them to personalise them and make them more suitable for their own intended use; thats when I realised how ridiculous we've become - how could I think about changing my bike just 'cos my wrists ached; much better to make modifications to make it more suitable. Right , where's that accessory catalogue?

Hurray for biking!

2009-04-19T19:13:00.000+01:00

Well that was the best fun I've had with my clothes on! Well apart from that massage in Wat Po but I won't go into that.

The weather over here on the east coast of Scotland has been rubbish all week, but every time I look at the weather forecast it looks like it's sunny over the west coast. So,I bought a new Givi screen for the bike, fitted a tail pack, printed out a map of the west coast of Scotland and set off to explore.

Saturday I drove along beside the river Dee as far as Ballater then turned north and rode over the Caingorms - bloody hell what fabulous scenery! The high point was riding for mile after mile along a single track roads with not one other vehicle in sight, just enjoying the scenery and the sunshine. Low point - looking in my mirrors to see a line of about 12 bikers coming up behind me at about twice my speed, each one weaving past as if I was a mobile chicane, waving, then disappearing off into the distance! I felt like a right knob.

The basic plan was to ride as far as possible, stop for the night and then ride again all day Sunday, but I did hit a couple of snags. Firstly is the abysmal mileage I get from the bike (caused I admit by inability to be gentle with the throttle)which means I have to stop every 100 miles for petrol. Secondly, and I'm open to suggestions how to get around this; I found it very difficult to ride fast AND enjoy the scenery, so much so that I was bimbling along at 50 mph for ages. And third (I know thats more than a couple) various parts of my anatomy began hurting after a couple of hours riding - wrists, arms and bum.

The upshot being that by 5pm I'd only made it to Inverness, although I had taken loads of photos and drank about a gallon of coffee in various roadside establishments. So I called it a day and stopped in a very pleasant hotel on the shores of Loch Ness. Crashed out early night.

But, and here's the bit I referred to at the beginning, that meant I could get up early this morning and start riding before the Sunday drivers appeared. The A82 south along the north side of Loch Ness was heaven! Bright sunshine, a completely empty road and enough gentle curves to alow me to ride at a reasonable speed while still enjoying the scenery.

A quick stop in Fort Augustus (more petrol and a coffee) and I took the B862 north along the south side of the Loch. This road goes through the Monadhliath mountains, is a single track, and looks like Colorado USA! Grand imposing mountains and forests, another empty road and I was in heaven. After that I gave up planning and just rode down every single-track road I came to, just generally winding my way south and east.

I stopped for lunch at some magical place near Cock bridge; there's this tremendous widing road all hairpins and steeply downhill, at the bottom is a tea shop. The road then hairpins its way back up and over the next mountain, so if you're sitting outside eating your lunch you hear the bikes coming down the hill all popping and banging, a quick blast past the teashop then screaming their way uphill - better than a racetrack. And all the time a huge clear blue sky and sun beating down.

Ride a bit, stop a bit, ride a bit more, stop for a coffee - what a way to pass a weekend! This is the life!

I finally got home about tea-time, washed the dead flies off me new screen and staggered upstairs to soak my aching body parts in a hot bath. Heaven! Hope you all had an equally good weekend - hurray for bikes!

roll on the light evenings, at least I'll be able to see

2009-04-01T13:23:00.000+01:00

Went to a talk given by a local Bike Instructor last night, the topic being better cornering. No suprises, really,in the cornering techniques; just a reminder that we're actually supposed to be thinking about what we're doing as we ride, as opposed to my approach of just bumbling along in top gear with an occasional full throttle blast whenever I get bored. Of course there was one character there keeping up a hilarious running commentary/heckle - the finale was when we were told that police bike riders don't get trained at night-riding...yes, Gus is now going to do all his riding at night!

Had a fairly terrifying ride back along the country lines from the pub, evidently Suzuki fit candles inside the headlamp of my bike; I could actually see better ahead when Sean on the fireblade was behind me than I could with my own lights. The lads tell me I have to fit HID bulbs but I'm not sure if its something I can do myself, electricity being white man's magic as far as I'm concerned.

Of even more concern is the amount of tread left on my back tyre, so far I've done 1500 miles, and the wear bar in the centre of the tread is almost exposed. Now Derek managed 4000 miles on his ninja before he replaced them and he rides like a lunatic - either these OE Dunlops are really crap, or I'll have to moderate those full throttle blasts. Or learn how to ride banked over all the time.

White lies are not a good idea

2009-03-18T18:04:00.000Z

It's been a bit quiet on the biking front recently, mostly due to Mrs El D being here with me. Of course it's my own fault; I was whinging about the life of a working man away from home - huge piles of un-ironed shirts, the lack of good home-cooked food, no time to make the bed...you know, the usual stuff. Anyway, she took pity on me and volunteered to visit my Scottish hovel and knock it back into shape.

I had a long and boring drive back to London, although it did help run-in my new car; collected Mrs El D and a huge pile of suitcases and drove back.So now I have lots of clean, crisply ironed shirts,etc etc. Unfortunately, I had omited to mention that I had bought a new bike and a new car - thought it would be a nice suprise. That thought was swiftly shown to be false with her reaction to the new car (!!) so I decided perhaps I shouldn't mention the bike until she was in a better mood.

Two weeks later and I'm still waiting!

However, yesterday I decided I couldn't manage without a bike ride any longer....so I left work at lunchtime complaining of a headache, got the bike out of Derek's garage and spent the afternoon aimlessly terrorising quaint villages. I even washed the bike when I got back, so that was a bonus.

I did have a little flutter when Mrs El D asked what the funny-shaped dent in my head was (that new helmet hasn't quite bedded in yet!)but I made some excuse about my new baseball cap being too tight.

I'm starting to think this lying to the wife is not worth the stress - well actually I KNOW it's not. Quite soon I shall tell her.......watch this space.

"It must be spring.....

2009-02-28T16:34:00.000Z

...all the bikers have turned up". So said the waitress at Braemars'finest cafe lunchtime today. And she was right on both accounts... there were about 15 bikes AND it was sunny and warm (well, 11 degC is judged warm here) I even unplugged the heated vest!!

I also got to check the other bikers riding apparel, and found (ref my previous blog about helmets)that it's true, the more mature riders to tend towards black or plain helmets. One gentleman did have a shocking pink Mohawk attached to his (black) lid, which livened it up considerably.

So, I'm going to continue to look for chrome tape, and ride as much as possible before summers' tourists clog up all the lovely roads pottering along admiring the scenery.

black helmet bad, chrome tape good.

2009-02-28T09:04:00.000Z

I've had my present crash helmet about a year now, it's a flip front (I prefer them 'cos it's easier to put on with my specs on). It's also been extremely uncomfortable which is not a good thing. I thought it would wear in, but I still find after 30 mins riding a pressure point on the front of my head which means I'm not enjoying the ride.

So yesterday afternoon I nicked off work early (again...haha) and went to our local large motorcycle gear supplier. Blimey these helmets are getting more expensive, aren't they? Anyway, after talking to the nice man, I actually bought another helmet from the same manufacturer as the one I've got - although evidently this one was designed by Michael Schumaker.

First ride to work this morning (on a Saturday,got to make up for that rate cut somehow!)it all seemed much better. Its a bit smaller, lighter, and has a pinlock insert so my spec didn't steam up at every traffic light. Good stuff. I even got a £100 discount for a special sale offer they had on. Still cost £340 though

The thing is, they only had a black one - evidently the more mature riders who wear these kind of helmets seek out plain colours, which is obviously an untruth 'cos I was looking for something brightly coloured with patterns all over it! So I'm not sure what to do now. I think you can get helmets painted, but thats probably going to cost more than I paid for the helmet.

When I was a lad we used to stick chrome tape on our helmets, but then we never wore them anyway and they were so battered about I'm not sure they would have served a purpose. Does anyone know if you can get tape (ideally black and chrome chequer-patterned) that is suitable?

Cosmetic or functional addition to the bike?

2009-02-24T18:09:00.000Z

As part of my cunning plan to make up for the rate cut my employers have imposed by working less, I left work early today and fitted a belly pan to the bike. The thinking behind this was that fitting it will either (a) increase my top speed by its streamlining effect, or (b) stop road muck being thrown over the exhaust downpipes and thus decrease my cleaning time.

I then popped out for a ride to test it out, only to find the top speed hadn't in fact gone up, and the exhaust still got dirty. Looks nice though. I thought I'd put a photo up so you can see it. I did have a bit of a moment though; was nipping along a nice long straight road when I saw a car waiting to pull out. It's daylight; I've got the headlight on; the woman driver looked at me and stopped - then just as a I got level to her she pulled out. Bloody Hell scared the life out of me.

A survey recently done among car drivers showed that something like 25% of people admitted they couldn't see well enough to drive properly, and that they probably should be wearing specs. So when you shout out "Oi, are you flippin' blind?" they probably are.

sunny tuesday

2009-02-17T20:24:00.000Z

Was it only two days ago since that last horrible cold biking experience? Here we are on Tuesday and its a sunny 13 degC in Aberdeen. I decided the only thing for it was to invent a meeting I had to attend on the other side of town, got the bike out and spent a couple of hours just riding around the lanes. Brilliant!

Not only did I feel happy, but by nicking a couple of hours from work I made up for that rate cut they've just imposed. Let's hope the weather stays the same for two days running; I'll do it again tomorrow.

Slippery, that ice.And cold.

2009-02-15T15:12:00.000Z

I'm supposed to be spending today completing an assignment for my OU course, deadline next week. Instead I'm dicking around reading bike magazines and checking e-bay for parts. Then Derek phones and says he and Sean are off for a ride, do I want to join them? Well I must admit the temperature has hit the balmy heights of 5 deg, although theres still plenty of ice and snow lying around, so I think I'll give it a go.

The drive up to the garage where we keep the bikes is still snow/ice covered, but Derek assure me it's no problem to ride down "just put both feet down on the slippery bits". I must admit to a few misgivings while kitting-up, but put it down to age-related lack of bottle. We set off, get to the corner and down I go. Bugger! Slippery stuff this ice. And this Bandit isn't exactly the lightest bike around. The boys help me to haul the bike upright, and off we go.

Unfortunately, the roads are bloody awful, mud and crap all over them, rivers running across where the snow is melting in the fields, and it's COLD. I've got the heated grips on, so there's that strange feeling of having warm palms and frozen backs-of-fingers. The two young lads disappear of into the distance leaving me to try and fend off a mad BMW intent on running me off the road for(presumably) not riding fast enough.

Eventually I've had enough; when we get to the turn-off for Stonehaven over the slug road I bottle-it and turn round for home. I decide to ride back on the main road, and it's much clearer, cleaner and nice to ride. Still cold though.

Derek's just phoned to say they got back OK, they had a dodgy bit riding on some ice with gravel underneath(!) but managed not to fall off. And I'm still not doing what I should be doing, and I've noticed there's some good films on the tele tonight so I've only got a couple of hours left. Bugger.

Oh and the irony is, I've bought some crash bungs but hadn't got round to fitting them yet 'cos it was too cold.

A bike is better than a meeting

2009-01-12T21:13:00.000Z

I was watching a police chase programme on the box last week that focused on bad bikers. They had a policeman with a new Hayabusa all kitted up with a camera and playback screen; he chased some nutter doing 120 mph down a country lane, and my thoughts were "what an idiot, it's bikers like him that give us all a bad name".

Took the bike to work today; the sun was shining at lunchtime so I thought I'd go out for a little ride around the lanes. No traffic to speak of - you guessed, I got to a nice long straight, glanced down and realised I too could be that idiot!

The programme made a big deal about irresponsible riders (and drivers, to be fair they did target bad car drivers as well) but I must admit I didn't really feel irresponsible; I was just enjoying myself. Got back to work, boring meeting, blah blah blah...couldn't wait for home time to get back on the bike. So that must be it, it's this boring drudgery of a life that makes us speed. And meetings.

First post

2009-01-11T18:06:00.000Z

Well, first post on this blogsite, and first post anywhere this year; celebrated by the first ride out on the bike this year. I spent all December moping around in London as I'd lost my job in Aberdeen - it wasn't the place I was missing so much as my bike, it being locked up safely in a pal's garage. The quandry was how to get the bike back home (relatively easy) and explain to Mrs El D (not so easy) how I'd bought a new bike just as I lost my job.

Luckily a solution presented itself; I got offered another job in Aberdeen to start 5th Jan. So, waving Mrs El D a sad farewell I drove the car back to freezing Scotland and started the new job Monday. Here we are on Sunday and the temperature has risen to an unbelievable 12 deg, so I just had to go out for a blast. It did get a bit windy, but the sun came out for a second or two, and I managed to blast away a month's worth of cobwebs. Nothing finer!

The plan is to use the bike every day for work as the new office is located outside of town, about 7 miles down some nice windey lanes - I've just got one more minor Op. on my hand to get out of the way next week, and it should be all systems go!