Friday, 3 December 2010

A simpler life...

The ex-wife chose the perfect time to ask for more money to keep her in the manner to which she has become accustomed; just as I lose (well resign) my job and become homeless. Not to worry, I’ve sold the car and the bike and some odds-and-ends on e-bay and am living in a rented hovel so she’s satisfied - for now. Then I’m rescued from a life of dull boredom by my local council – over-60’s get a free bus pass! So now I can explore wherever I want and my meagre funds will last longer – today I caught the first bus that loomed out of the blizzard * and ended-up in Kingston-on-Thames; found a greasy spoon cafe with steamed-up windows and settled down at a table by the window with a mug of tea, good honest English tea, thick enough to stand your teaspoon up in, none of this Freetrade cappuccino and an organic brie-and-sundried tomatoes Panini’s no I want white bread and processed cheese if you don’t mind.

And the four young beautiful friendly Polish waitresses stand and chat in foreign tongue while I read this week’s MotorCycle News front-to-back and then a chapter from my latest discovery from that chest I found in my 90 year-old well 89 ½ Mum’s attic, me and my dear departed brother Dave stashed all our hot-rod books and magazines up there sometime in the ‘70’s when we got sidetracked by families from building cars, and I rediscovered the box a couple of months ago so today I’m reading ’32 Ford the Deuce by Tony Thacker and marvelling at Henry Ford’s vision. After a few hours I slide on icy paths back to the bus stop and make my way slowly home, i-pod earphones concealed under woolly hat ‘cos I’m sure over-60’s probably aren’t allowed to listen to 70’s subversive songs ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ and ‘Street fightin’ man’ while on free transport, back to the hovel where I fall asleep after listening to ‘in the arms of the angel’ that still makes the hair on my arms stand on end and dreaming of the Bonneville with big engine and polished ally guards that I’ll maybe build when I ever get a job again........ah, the simple life.

*Earlist snowfall for 20 years, Britain at standstill.


  1. You didn't get a clean break then?

    I feel for you.

  2. Thanks for your concern, guys - but I wanted to change the bike/car/camera anyway, this way I get to start again from scratch. Anyway I'm keeping busy planning someone's 'accidental' death :)

  3. "Anyway I'm keeping busy planning someone's 'accidental' death :)"

    I'm with you all the way! What are the chances of finding a BOGOF offer on this?

  4. Look for a three for the price of two offer and count me in too.

  5. I'm glad (in a perverse way) that I am not alone in choosing to join the ranks of the otherwise-employed...want to share my cardboard box when the money runs out?

  6. HWL, that's the best offer I've had for a long time ;) but I'd be afraid you'll get involved in my nefarious plans - I can just see the headlines "renowned female motorcycle journalist and semi-professional blues harp player becomes involved in suicidal pensioners' murder ring".

    Nikos and Affer - lets see if I get away with this one first ;)