Grandpa

           An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather,
           who was working in the yard and asked him,
           "Grampa, what is sex?"*

           The grandfather was surprised that she would ask
           such a question, but decided that if she's old enough
           to know to ask the question, then she's old enough
           to get a straight answer.  Steeling himself to leave
           nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about
           human reproduction and the joys and
           responsibilities of intercourse.

           When he finished explaining, the little girl was
           looking at him with her mouth hanging open,
           eyes wide in amazement.

           Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather
           asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"

           The little girl replied, "Grandma says that
           dinner will be ready in just a couple of secs"

Triumphs at the Ace cafe

 Gave up my normal Sunday-morning lie-in today as there was a Triumph day at the Ace cafe and I wanted to beat the forecasted midday rain. Got there just after 9am, which meant no queues for the full English breakfast, mug of tea included. Eat to the sound of Gene Vincent on the jukebox, then went out for a stroll to look at the bikes. Then a quick blast around the North Circular before getting home early for lunch. Good morning out!

Its that boat again

Glimpsed over the heads of a million other well-wishers crowding the banks of the river Thames on Sunday; it was almost impossible to see anything of the flotilla of boats celebrating the Queens diamond jubilee, but there was a great party atmosphere all along the embankment.

 Apart, that is, for a group of aggressive, shaven-headed louts posing as policemen; what they obviously wanted was a riot, what they got was families enjoying a great day out - obviously frustrated by not having any student protesters to beat to the ground they compensated by screaming, shouting and generally behaving like a bunch of arses, making us walk this way and that way down deserted streets, side roads all barriered-off and manned by private security guards, again all shaven-headed louts.

Commonwealth flags in Parliament square

 Luckily we moved away from the embankment, made our way up past Westminster to Picaddilly and a huge street party; a great time was had by all.

Now THATS a small city car!

Duh-ohh

As you know, I'm not one to think things out fully before I act. We've been enjoying a heatwave here in London, enjoying except of course when you're stuck in traffic in the blazing sun on a hot motorcycle wearing full face helmet, jacket, trousers and riding boots. As I looked around me the other day I noticed all the scooter riders were in tee shirts and lightweight trousers, no boots to be seen. So in an effort to reduce my body heat I tried wearing my draggin' jeans for a couple of days - that helped, but not enough. So yesterday while visiting the local bike shop to buy a new padlock I spied a mesh jacket. What a great idea! Armour in case I fall off, but mesh to let the wind blow through. Wore it home from the shop and was delighted with it. Now here's the rub, heatwave we may be having, but it's still England in May; I set off this morning wearing said new jacket and realised within 100 yards that the ride in was going to be chilly. Very chilly. And no doubt by next weekend the temperature will be back to normal and I won't wear the jacket again. Funny old life, isn't it/

Decisions, decisions.

I've been using the Triumph to commute to work on for the last week or so - had a little hiccup when the right-hand silencer split. This was soon remedied by the purchase of a pair of TOR silencers. Now these come with removable baffles; being a responsible rider I have not removed these, but no matter, as they still sound like a B52 bomber - even LF who has no interest in bikes said they're bloody loud.

I'm still trying to get to grips with the sheer uncomfortableness of riding the Triumph - spurred on by Trobairitz's decision to get rid of her Bonnie I thought I'd ride out at the weekend and look at some other bikes. First stop was at the Triumph dealers, where I had a test ride on a Tiger 800. It was OK, nothing really outstanding. Then I visited the local Moto Guzzi dealer - these bikes are lovely, but so small! Couldn't fit on any of them. I then took a ride down to Kempton Park where there was a classic bike show and auto jumble; the car park was so full of interesting bikes I spent an hour wandering around. Liked this strange concoction of a cafe racer

and was interested to see the flyscreen attached to this Velocette - must be graded to let only the little flies through!

I then spent a couple of hours riding aimlessly around the Surrey countryside listening to the sound of the exhaust bouncing off the scenery, and got home with a smile on my face. So, at the moment I'm still trying to decide what to do about the bike.

I like Fridays....

Firstly and mainly because I get paid! Secondly because I don't have to go to work for the next two days, and thirdly 'cos I get off work at 3pm so get a chance to stroll home along the riverbank at Richmond in the daylight. Today there was a bit of excitement down there; a Royal barge moored alongside the floating restaurant. I went up on the bridge to take a photo - it's not very clear as I only had my iphone. Not sure why the barge was there, although the posh bird standing next to me reckoned Charles and Camilla had popped into the White Cross pub for a pint on the way to Windsor for the weekend.

Carried on home and spotted two ducks having a bath in a sunken boat. How strange.

Sometimes you're just too close...

...to see the obvious mistakes. I quickly fitted the bar risers to the Triumph, remembering to cover the tank so I didn't scratch the new paintwork. Then I fitted an extension spindle to the offside mirror, as all I can usually see out of it is my shoulder. Then it was off for a ride in the sun. I went off down into the pleasant Surrey lanes at a nice slow speed so the engine gets run in properly; stopped at a little village for some lunchtime refreshment where I took these couple of photos.

 Then it was off home, with a detour to my son's house to show off the bike in all it's shiny glory. 'WTF' was his first comment, followed by roars of laughter. I have to admit that, standing back and looking at the bike with detachment, the single high mirror does look a bit goofy. That spindle's coming off straight away!